"Repete apres moi s'il vous plait. Parlez-vous francais? A quelle heure? Quel temps fait il..."
Marie droned on in monotone with the rest of the class, barely moving her mouth as she stumbled over the words. She was normally very engaged in french class, but today she had things on her mind that were a bit more pressing then asking what the weather was like. The few weeks until the dance were growing short, and so were the pickings for dates, not that she had been trying very hard to pick anyone from school. She had spoken to Teddy on the phone a few nights ago. They were to meet up tonight, but whether he was potential date material was yet to be seen. Like many of the other girls, Jen had already gotten her dream date. Antonio had asked her as soon as they had had a few moments alone, in a most romantically overdone way (of which included multiple roses and petals littering the floor), quite to Jen's excitement of course. Britney, though disappointed at being turned down by Tyler, (more like mortified really) had found a gorgeous college boy to go with, and of course, Angela and Alicia had snagged hot dates as well. As had become the norm, Marie was the last girl to be without a date in her circle. It was hurting her reputation a bit, as most of the school's population, save for the few girls who either did not want to go, or did not care for dates, had already been asked or had asked. It was only a week now. She had her dress, and her limo (overdoing it for a small formal she thought, but the school had rented out a large and very expensive hall, so perhaps appropriate) but no one to go with. Not that she really cared too much, save for the fact that all of her friends were driving her nuts trying to set her up with boys left and right. She had been thinking it over, wondering, though she doubted it, whether Jamie would be going or not. Would it be so silly to ask him as a friend? Only a friend...surely her friends wouldn't mind too much...Maybe even just asking him if he was going, it would be harmless. She could casually tell him they should meet up there. Of course, the way things had been, he probably wouldn't believe her, she didn't even believe herself. They had met various times in the hall, and all of those times, not once did she say hello or make eye contact even. It had come to the point that Jamie did not even spare a glance in her direction. Though she did receive rather odd looks from Sam when the group was walking past. She was a complete and utter chicken. She sighed as she stared at the board, words blurred in and out of focus as she got lost in thought. Jen woke her from her reverie by passing her a note rather forcedly. Marie perked up and grabbed the note quickly, hiding it from sight as the teacher's eyes swept over them. Once her gaze was relocated, Marie quickly unfolded the note and read to herself. So are you going with that weird Teddy kid or not? Marie's eyes widened slightly, though she shouldn't have been surprised, Jen being the gossip 'moderator' of the school and all. This was bad, on many levels. Mostly because Jen seemed unpleased by this decision, this being proven by the convenient placement of the word 'weird' in front of Teddy's name, though Marie was amazed she knew his name at all. She had to admit, she wasn't sure what had come over her to speak to him that day, maybe it was a fleeting moment of bravery, setting aside the fact that he was utterly non-repulsive as most of them were, but whatever the reason she now knew it was a key element in discovering exactly what she would have to do should her friends disapprove. She had never dealt with a situation like this before, proper precautions had to be taken, and as much as they disapproved of Teddy, they would disapprove of her new friendship with Jamie far more. She couldn't push the situation too far either. It was too easy to answer her yes. Why was it so easy here, and yet when Jen questioned her in a similar manner the other day, less disapproving even, she had denied everything about Jamie. The worst part of her inevitable reply of 'yes' was that she was no longer forced to ask Jamie, as if she would have had the guts, which meant that she wouldn't. She crumpled the note and stared at her desk intensely. It wouldn't be so bad...Teddy wasn't like Tyler, she had noticed him...but she had noticed Jamie too. She shook her head and smiled bitterly. Jamie would never go with her either way, she had sealed that fate for herself with every time she passed him in the hall, completely and utterly ignoring him. She took out a pencil, suddenly feeling very unreasonably hurt, as if Jamie had already told her no. She unwrinkled the note, and scratched a rather hasty 'Yes' before handing the note back to Jen roughly. She was already angry with him and she hadn't even given him a chance. She crossed her arms and stared out the window with a sigh. An involuntary smile spread across her face when she remembered the quirky grin Teddy gave her.
When she went into the art room that day, she found Jamie drawing in his sketchbook with a slightly crooked frown on his face. He usually frowned when he drew, and a little crease appeared between his eyebrows in his most intense moments. She stopped to watch him for a moment, smiling slightly. She wasn't sure why it was so endearing, it was just a little wrinkle...He looked up suddenly, as if he just noticed her standing there, and blinked slowly at her.
"So...you gonna stand there or are you gonna work on this painting?" he said with a half smile, cheeks slightly flushed, which seemed to happen when he was working so vigorously on an idea.
She stuck out her tongue and began walking again, placing her stuff on the floor next to him. Buying some time to allow herself another few moments of thinking, she dug through her bag unusually slow. She pulled out her paintbrushes and stood as slowly as possible, inhaling deeply as she rose. Why was this so difficult, it was only a simple question, a simple question between friends.
"So," she said, feigning a nonchalant tone as best she could, turning to her canvas, "are you...um..."
She could feel his eyes on her back as she stood there, mind frozen, "W-what are you drawing?"
She cursed to herself silently, scrunching her face in annoyance. What was wrong with her? Everyone else in the world seemed to have this ability where she seemed to lack it completely. Then again, she had never had this problem before...
"Eh..." he began, clearly caught off guard, she had never really asked before, normally she just looked, "It's...an idea for my next painting..."
"Oh, right." she said awkwardly, unwrapping her rather messy palette to begin mixing her paints.
It took her a few moments of mixing to realize the paints were already mixed and waiting on her palette to be used. She flushed a deep red as the silence thickened the air. She was making this too difficult, all she had to do was just blurt it out. Realizing it was useless, she put down the palette and turned to him. He raised his eyebrows at her in surprise. Normally she couldn't wait to start working. But then, normally conversation between them would have been much less forced...
"Don't feel like painting today?" he said looking up at her puzzled.
"No...no, of course I do. I just wanted to ask you something."
His eyes widened slightly, "You-what...?"
She shook her head with a nervous giggle, then blurted it out as quickly as she could, "I was just wondering if you were going on saturday."
He stared at her for a moment blankly, seemingly pondering her run-together words, then after a few moments of translation he opened his mouth to reply, "What's saturday?"
She gawked at him for a few moments, unsure he had just uttered those words. Surely he was joking, everyone in school knew what was saturday! After granting him a fews moments to come to realization, only met by silence, she opened and closed her mouth flabbergasted a few times, trying to shake off her shock.
"The dance is on saturday..."
"The fall dance?"
She nodded, averting her eyes. All too suddenly she felt like throwing up. His tone did not hint at a yes, or any kind of answer she would have hoped for. Then again, in the back of her mind resided a little scenario that would positively never happen, but she couldn't help but hope. I have Teddy, she reassured herself. But then she had spent all the rest of the afternoon building herself up to ask him about it anyway, and here she did and nothing would come out of it. She shouldn't have been so presumptuous. All she wanted was an enjoyable time, rather than a painful, exhausting dance full of fakery.
"Eh-no...I can't..."
"Why not?" she asked quietly, sounding more disappointed then she intended to let on.
"Oh..you know- I have to work."
She frowned abruptly, "You only work during the week."
He averted his eyes, flushing..."Right-"
She narrowed her eyes at him.
"You didn't have to lie about it, at least tell me the truth even if it's horribly rude." She said rather venomously, crossing her arms.
She was not about to let all of her work go to waste without a fight, and she certainly was not about to let him smash her hopes, no matter how ridiculous they were, to pieces with a terribly pathetic lie.
"I'm sorry," he replied simply, and a little too quickly, she wasn't ready to give up just yet.
"Well? Are you going to tell me the truth? Or are you just going to lie again. Or better yet, maybe you'll stay silent and wait for me to drop it." she said vehemently, putting her hands on her hips and waiting.
He shrugged slightly, giving her a weak smile. She scoffed at him, hardly expecting this kind of cold reaction, then leaned down and began throwing her things in her bag as violently as she could without breaking anything. Not even a word of invitation was spoken, and she already felt rejected. He got out of his chair quickly, but she ignored him, gathering her stuff and readying to take down her painting from the easel , "Wait-wait a minute okay? Marie just wait..."
"No I think I'll just be going now." she replied shortly, face a brilliant shade of crimson, whether from embarrassment or anger she wasn't sure.
"Just listen to me!"
She started walking away but his next words stopped her.
"I can't afford it damn-it!" he exclaimed heatedly, "Okay?! Happy now?"
She stopped, realizing that she had not even considered the option. She chewed on her lip slightly, turning slowly back around to look at him.
"You work everyday..."
He rubbed his eyes with an exasperated sigh, "Yea-well I've got a lot of other things to pay for. And they're a little more important than a dance."
She averted her eyes for a moment, nodding slowly, temper calming. She wasn't used to feeling like this, she felt ashamed for getting so angry so quickly, but she wasn't sure how else she could have reacted, if it were anyone else maybe it wouldn't have mattered so much. She raised her gaze and watched him silently, unsure what to say or do, feeling too unsettled to go back to work just yet. That kind of sentence was not something she normally heard uttered. In every school she'd ever been to, no one she was restricted to associating with would ever utter such a phrase. She blinked at him a few times, biting her lip in vexation.
"Don't give me that look." he said with a scowl.
"What look?" she asked quietly.
"I don't want your pity."
"It wasn't a look of pity."
"Then what kind of look was it?"
She shrugged, still chewing her lip. They watched each other silently for a long time, neither making any kind of move. It was a strangely quiet moment, as if the school had suddenly become devoid of life, and they had become the last two people on earth. It was a very strange and uncomfortable moment, but for some reason she could not tear her eyes from his. It was Jamie who broke his gaze from her, though with difficulty. He took a seat again, clearing his throat as he pulled out the chair.
"Put your stuff down, you should work on this..."
She nodded and did as he said without a moment's hesitation, taking her paint brushes and palette out from her bag again. She cringed in disgust, realizing her palette had still been wet when she threw it in her bag. Now there was a significant amount of oil paint on her english and french books. That was fine with her however, they were boring before it happened anyway. Though, that did not mean she was pleased she had to get oil paint all over her hands. She took the books out with two dainty fingers and laid them on the table with a look of disgust.
"You slather that stuff all over canvas for hours, and then you get a tiny smudge on your book and you're grossed out?" he said with a half smile.
"I am a girl after all." she said cringing again as she pulled out her dirtied notes and placed them on the table as well.
He laughed quietly, picking up his sketchbook again, "No, girls are like Britney. You are better than a girl."
She stopped emptying her bag and stared up at him, one eyebrow raised, smile slowly spreading across her face.
"That is the weirdest complement I've ever gotten."
He raised his eyebrows, "Were you expecting something normal? It did come from me after all."
Her smile widened as she returned to emptying the disgusting contents of her bag, "You're not that weird."
"Well, maybe you're just weirder then me, so I seem more normal to you then I would to a normal person."
She snorted with laughter, "Okay, I take it back, that was pretty weird."
They worked the rest of the day like they usually did, accept with a bit of tension in the air, as if they were forcedly ignoring the topic of the dance all together, afraid it would explode like a ticking time bomb once again. Marie had put one last stroke on her painting when Jamie informed her it was getting late.
"Aw, why can't we stay longer." She said, stepping back to better view what she had done. If she could only stay for another hour...
"You know why. Can't very well let my poor helpless little sister walk home from preschool...you are more then welcome to stay. But, janitor Dan may just kick you out in a few minutes anyway, unless of course you're willing to give the pervert a lap dance. But I doubt you'd be willing." he replied with a grin, shoving his sketchbook in his bag quickly, and gathering his assortment of pencils and erasers. He began to gather her things as well, helping her stuff them in her bag, and when they were all finished, and Marie had washed her hands, Jamie walked her out to her car like a proper gentlemen.
"Are you gonna chauffeur me home now too?" she teased, getting out her keys as they approached the car.
"Who are you going with?" he said abruptly, ignoring her comment.
She stuttered for a moment, caught by surprise, "W-well, unless you wanna come with me I'm going home alone..."
"To the dance."
She glanced up at him, surprised by his serious tone after such a long bout of joking, and shrugged slightly.
"I have a date tonight." she said slowly, feeling very strange speaking those words to his face. It felt as if she was violating something, some unspoken truce between them. They had never actually mentioned their romantic lives in their after school sessions. In fact, most things discussed were completely art related on his end. If anyone were to mention it it would have been her.
"Oh." he said gravely, "Who with? Tyler?"
She laughed slightly, "No, definitely not. But uh- if things work out I'll...I'll probably go with him, this guy."
Jamie nodded slowly, avoiding her gaze.
"Well...er-good. You should...I mean, it'd be kinda silly to go alone I guess..."
She watched him for a moment, "Yea...I guess..."
He smiled weakly, rubbing the back of his neck and looking at the ground for a moment, then turned abruptly to leave, "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yea," she said slowly, watching him leave with a curious expression, "tomorrow..."
Marie checked herself in the car mirror once more, adjusting her hair slightly, before getting out of the car. She pulled her skirt down a little, brushing off anything she may have on her shirt, then walked quickly up to the restaurant. It was one of the nicer restaurants in town, Cupid's. Obviously, by it's name, it was quite popular with couples, and rightly so. Just looking at the outside of the building would make any girl sigh. It was the most ridiculously overdone romantic place she had ever seen, with victorian architecture and plenty of rosebushes and cupid fountains, but they had wonderful food, so she was not about to complain. Butterflies swirled in her stomach as she scaled the large stairs, huffing all the way. When she finally made it to the top, she took a breather, realizing perhaps she needed to start exercising again, then opened the doors and stepped inside. Her eyes soaked up the warm red and brown interior, grazing over the people there, faces aglow with content, before they landed on a familiar face planted in the corner of the room, flashing a friendly smile in her direction. She flashed a grin in return, butterflies leaping into her stomach. Sure, she and Teddy had spoken on the phone, but it was brief and detached chatter, nothing like it would have to be tonight. Head lowered, she made her way over to him slowly. She rung her hands, a little nervous, but for what reason she wasn't sure. She'd never been nervous on a date before. Then again, she'd never been on a date with someone she felt she might actually like. Once she reached him, he greeted her with a muted 'Hi', and she replied with an equally quiet 'hello'. They were silent for a few moments, hesitant to catch each other's eye. A flush rose in her cheeks, "So, do you-wanna get a table?"
"Oh! right....yea, we should get a table..." Teddy said, voice trailing off.
Marie followed him over to the podium where the hostess stood.The woman led them to a table in a far corner of the room with a few winks in Teddy's direction, then she left them alone to mull over their menus. After a short laugh they fell into silence. For a while both pretended to be enthralled by the restaurant's many wonderful dishes. This however could only be temporary, as the waitress came over and took their order. Once she left with their menus, they were forced to acknowledge each other's presence. Marie's mind was frozen mid thought, unsure what to say next. She had never been good at striking up conversation, she was much better at keeping it going. Thankfully, Teddy relieved her of this duty.
"So, you go to Belle Tech...what classes are you taking? I heard you guys have a great magnet program..."
Teddy was obviously thinking of the Art magnet program, of which a good population of the school was in, including Jamie and hopefully including her. Though the program was quite difficult to get into...
"Well, I'm hoping to get into the A.P. art class, but other then that I'm not in the magnet program...I'm taking the usual classes really...accept french. What about you?"
"Oh you take french? I'm taking that too, I'm not very good at it though..."
"Oh-yea, it's pretty tough."
Silence fell on them again. Marie supposed it was normal for a first date, really a blind date. However, she couldn't help but think on how quickly she had grown comfortable with Jamie. They hadn't gone on a date of course, but still.
"So...what do you do? Like, outside of school?" she asked awkwardly, taking a sip of water to occupy her nervous hands.
"Well, I play the bari saxophone and occasionally percussion in the band, I'm kind of a band geek I guess." he said with a nervous smile, "My friends and I want to get a band together, but we haven't gotten around to it."
"Oh really? I used to play the piano, I used to be good at it too! I'm not sure why I stopped."
"Yea, I know a lot of people that did that after middle school. I guess after that playing an instrument just isn't cool anymore."
Marie grinned sardonically, "It's stupid, the things people will give up for popularity."
"It sounds like you're speaking from experience." he said, watching her with a curious expression.
She put down her water, averting her eyes, "Yea, I do I guess."
He raised his eyebrows, obviously urging her to continue, "Well even if it's a long story we've got time."
She smiled gently, "You don't want to hear my sob story on the first night you've met me. I don't want to chase you away."
He leaned back in his chair, "Well that's a good sign! If you did wanna chase me away I would have been a little worried."
She laughed, flushing a little.
"Well, if you won't tell me, you could at least tell me a little about yourself. Where are you from, what do you like, what's your favorite color..."
"My favorite color?"
"Yea, that is the ultimate getting to know you question you know. You can know a lot about a person just by knowing what their favorite color is!" he replied, leaning forward in his chair again.
She snorted wondering how many times he had said 'know' in that sentence, brushing her hair behind her ear, "Okay then. Let's see...I'm originally from Pennsylvania, I like...um..." she studied him for a moment, "I love to draw...but my friends don't really know that..."
"Oh the plot thickens. Why on earth wouldn't you tell your friends that?"
"Hang on now I haven't told you my favorite color!"
He slapped a hand over his mouth and nodded for her to continue. She grinned and leaned forward a little.
"My favorite color is green."
He raised his eyebrows, then gave her a knowing look and nodded, "Now I really know what you're like."
"Oh really?" she replied with a coy smile, "Well I guess you've gotten to know me enough and I can go now."
He laughed, "No, I'm not quite done with you yet."
From then on, their conversation was only occasionally punctuated with awkwardness. This should have made her happy, but for some reason, it only made Marie uneasy. She felt as if she could really start to like him. She would not just pretend crush on him, take him to the dance and be done with it like she had planned, like she usually did with boys, however terrible it was. He was a good guy, he didn't deserve that...
"Well," he said putting down his fork and placing his napkin over his plate, "that was really good."
"Yea it was." she said quietly, looking down at her empty plate distractedly.
"So...I uh...heard there's a dance at your school this weekend." he said, leaning forward again, eyes locking on her face, "You don't have to pretend this wasn't planned for that reason..."
"Well, not only that reason Teddy. I-" she bit her lip nervously, "When I saw you at the mall the other day, well...I don't find that many people so intriguing..."
A grin spread across his face, "I had the same feeling."
She studied him for a few moments, wondering if she was throwing herself into a terrible situation. She could fall for him yes, but what would it do to her? Would it really be any easier than the situation with Jamie? It could be ruined so easily...I could lose him so easily...She leaned forward and placed her hand on Teddy's hesitantly, wondering if she was doing the right thing. Was she leading him on? She did like him, but she had had hopeless plans...
"I really enjoyed this...tonight...it was really-really nice." she said truthfully.
He took her hand in his and offered a gentle grin, "So did I. Do you want to...I mean-the dance...do you wanna go with me? It's last minute and everything but that's..."
"I'd love to." she replied, heart sinking slightly.
She had had hopes for the dance, stupid, but they were still there.Teddy isn't so much a risk, she told herself. Her friends hardly knew anything about him. Besides, if she lost him, it was something she could deal with in these early stages, it was safe. And it would distract Jen from pondering on any silly secret romances she might be having.
"Okay," he replied, eyes twinkling, "Do you wanna go somewhere? I mean I know we're already somewhere, but I was thinking somewhere else..."
She giggled, "You have such a way with words, how could I not say yes?"
He raised an eyebrow, "Haha. Where do you wanna go?"
"Let's go somewhere romantic!"
"Oh geez, you ARE a girl..."
"Well, you should be glad of that!"
He laughed endearingly, "Yea I suppose you're right."
Marie and Teddy met several times after that night, and Marie always enjoyed it. Some days were more awkward than others, but it was never to the point that she wanted to close off to him. They met every other day leading up to the dance, whether casual or romantic, he was easy to talk to, never pushy and certainly not judgmental. It was nice. There were rumors running rampant in school about them, not surprising really, they had become somewhat of a hot item without even really being an item yet. Tyler had come to Marie himself and asked if the rumors were true, then had the nerve to ask her to the dance anyway. Then again, his ego stretched far past his brain, and at times was apparently completely overpowering. The moment she refused to go with Tyler Beckett, Marie became the heroin and the villainess of the school all in one. It was funny how many girls truly hated Tyler. Even the popular girls had praised her, saying how romantic a gesture it was, though Marie had thought it more like second nature, what did they think? Because he asked her she should automatically drop her original date? Britney, as was usual for her, badmouthed Teddy as much as she could. She often brought up the very important fact that was Teddy's popularity standing at Century, which was not very great. He was one of the many 'unnoticeables' at his school, the group in which all the kids who didn't fit into any other category went. Though most of the girls were on Marie's side and ignored this, or offered help in a makeover session, the boys latched onto this rumor fervently, obviously in defense of one of their own. Needless to say, the rumors that had spread made the dance an even more exciting event. All the girls were anxious to show off their dates and have a good time, and many were excited to meet all the new boys and girls that would be coming, even if it meant they had to steal them from a date. It was a common practice at the school, as it was at any other school really. There was of course a downside to all of this however, which Marie had known all along. Jamie. Though he seemingly ignored the rumors, or truly did not know of them, he was increasingly distanced from her. Whether because he knew, or for some other reason she wasn't sure, but it was becoming worrisome. She had begun to wonder if her efforts were completely in vain. Was she doomed to lose him no matter what? She and Teddy weren't even officially dating, and already Jamie was acting strangely. Deciding perhaps it was best to bring up the subject directly, she offered that they should meet elsewhere this time, make it seem more intentional rather than an afterthought born from convenience of their meetings after school. She had had a difficult time coordinating times with him, as he had to hire a babysitter for his little sister for every night she mentioned. She wondered vaguely where on earth his parents were...It was the night before the dance that they finally coordinated a time, that friday right after school. This also brought about a new and exciting (though most may not have thought so) adventure; going to Jamie's house to pick him up. She had always thought it so personal when you finally saw someone's house for the first time. Perhaps because not any random person was invited to your house, and because, in many cases, it was the place a person grew up, it was a place filled with memories that you could feel just by stepping inside. More then that however, home to Marie was the one place she could let down her guard a bit, she supposed it was the same for him. And so, when the day finally came, Marie was both giddy, and nervous when she found his mailbox, nearly buried beneath the bushes. Smiling slightly she turned into the dirt drive, the hood of her car scraping against the low hanging branches of the trees. Seeing someone's home was like looking into their past, looking in to a piece of them. She pulled up beside the house, a little surprised to see the driveway empty. She had hoped to meet Jamie's parents, just out of curiosity, but then it only made sense no one was home, else Jamie wouldn't have needed to get Jenna a babysitter. She turned off the car and stepped out, studying the house warily. There was something...strange about it, like it didn't quite fit him. It wasn't long that she was standing outside when she heard the creak of a door, and a squeal of excitement. She smiled when she peered at the porch to see Jamie grinning wide as a pretty dark haired little girl waved excitedly at her. The two of them walked down the steps and met her halfway, the little girl, who Marie assumed to be Jenna, with much enthusiasm.
"This is Jenna, my sister." Jamie said walking up behind his little sister and messing up her hair playfully.
Jenna giggled and flashed a brilliant smile up at her. Marie knelt down and put out her hand with a playful grin, "I'm Marie."
Jenna shook her hand overzealously, "Nice to meet you." she said with a giggle.
"Thanks for letting me borrow Jamie for today Jenna." she said, smiling up at Jamie.
Jenna nodded enthusiastically, then gave her a very fervent look with her large green eyes, "We can share!"
Marie giggled, standing back up, "Sounds good to me."
Jenna nodded with approval and stepped back as Marie stood, the playful smile returning to the little girl's face, she had dimples just like her brother. Jamie led her back up the porch, through the red door and into his house, where much to Marie's surprise, Josh reclined comfortably on the couch, staring at the prim maroon colored wallpaper and whistling a tune. He leapt up when they entered and greeted Marie with a casual wave and a quirky grin.
"The new babysitter," Jamie said with a laugh, "I'm a little worried..."
Josh waved a hand in dismissal, "Hey, I've been baby-sitting for you forever now..."
Jamie nodded, "Yea, we just can't get him to LEAVE."
Jenna giggled and latched onto Josh's legs.
"I don't want Joshy to leave!" she exclaimed.
Jamie laughed and told Marie to wait for him while he went to his room. Marie took that opportunity to look around the living room. It was very clean...strangely so perhaps. It was also very empty, lacking most of the things one might consider normal for a living room. There was no television, no radio, only couches, a fireplace and one lonely grandfather clock sitting in the corner. The walls were devoid of photos, the mantelpiece empty where there should have been some evidence of anything to do with a family. It was cold. It was not a home. She wandered a little further in as Jenna and Josh started to play a game. The house felt like a model house. A place set up for viewing only, a place that was uninhabited. She wandered into the dining room, to find the one thing that seemed to offer any semblance of comfort thus-far, a homely looking piano. She couldn't help but wonder if they had just moved in. Looking all around, she sat down at the bench, hoping to find something...anything to show some kind of human presence within the walls.
"My mother used to play that piano every day."
She turned around to find Jamie wandering slowly towards her, a solemn look on his face. He stood behind her for a moment before taking a seat slowly. They both peered down at the keys, Jamie running his fingers over them softly.
"She was getting really good at it."
"Was?" Marie said hesitantly.
"She died, a few years ago." he said quietly, offering her a weak smile. "I used to wake up to her playing in the mornings. You'd think it would get annoying, but it never did..."
Marie looked down at her hands, unsure what to say save the proper response, "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault," he replied, shaking his head slightly, "I always thought it was so funny when people said that."
"Yea," Marie replied with a nod, "it is kind of weird..."
They were silent for a few moments, staring at the piano tensely, the sound of Jenna's giggles echoing through the empty room. Marie stared at the keys, brows furrowed in thought. Had he been hiding something huge from her? Keeping the information about his mother to himself purposefully? Or was it that the topic had never arisen? She had told him everything about EVERYTHING in her life in their conversation heavy after school meetings. How had she not noticed she seemed to know next to nothing about him? Was his father even alive? Would Jamie even tell her if he wasn't? He sure seemed to be missing most of the time if he was, else maybe he would be here watching Jenna. Jamie stood abruptly, clearing his throat.
"So...are you ready to go?"
"Do I get to see your room?" she asked with a coy smile, awakened from her reverie.
He laughed, "I don't think you're ready for that yet."
She scoffed at him with mock anger and crossed her arms stubbornly, "Well then..."
"Come on!" he said with a chuckle, grabbing her arm and pulling her up from the bench, "We're gonna be late."
She huffed as he pulled her out to the living room, "But we're just going to the park! We don't need to be on time..."
"Bye Jenna!" he said, stopping and bending down to hug her, "Now be really, really bad for Josh, he loves that you know."
Jenna laughed, squeezing him tightly, "Okay, I will!"
"Yea thanks for that man." Josh said crossing his arms and smiling bitterly as he leaned down and took a seat on the couch again, groaning like an old man. Marie smiled.
"Aw you know Jenna would never ever REALLY be bad." Jamie said straightening up and placing a hand on his sister's head, "Right Jenna?"
He winked down at her with a wide grin, and she winked back with a giggle, then turned to Marie and waved excitedly, "Bye Marie!"
"Bye bye Jenna." she replied with a gentle smile.
Jenna latched onto Jamie once more before retreating to the couch, and surreptitiously jumping on Josh, who was seemingly unawares. He let out a loud huff as Jenna laughed uncontrollably. Jamie looked ready to chastise her, but only succeeded in stifling chuckles as he walked out the door, "Sorry Josh, I'll pay you double this time!"
"You can't afford to pay me for this!" he called after them laughing as he attacked Jenna with tickles.
When they reached the park, the air was growing cold, and it was seemingly empty, save for one car in the dirt lot. The trees were beginning to change their color, leaves sprouting plumes of orange and yellow, some even a deep crimson. Marie turned off the car and sat for a moment, looking out the windows.
"Fall is a beautiful season." Jamie said quietly, as if he had been reading her mind.
She smiled to herself.
"It's my favorite one." she replied thoughtfully, "It's the perfect one."
"The temperature is perfect, not too cold, not too hot..."
"And you get to wear long sleeves...well us normal people that wear T-shirts in summertime."
Jamie shrugged, "I like long sleeves..."
"Yea, apparently." she teased, pulling her keys out of the ignition, and sitting back in her seat for a moment.
"So...let's take a walk."
They took a large trail around the lake, walking at a leisurely pace, talking like they usually did. There wasn't a moment that they didn't have something to say to each other. Even if there was a brief moment of silence, it was a completely natural pause, with no awkwardness, quite the opposite, as Marie noted, of the date she'd first gone on with Teddy, not that this was really a date. But then, there was something very special and different about what she had with Jamie. She'd never gotten so comfortable with someone in such a short amount of time. Any discomfort she'd felt with Jamie had ended by the fourth day. They stopped in unison at a bench along the way and took a seat, silence taking over them as a cold breeze rustled the leaves above their heads. She had chosen this particular park because of the season really. Jamie used so many fall colors in his work, she figured he might enjoy an entire park dedicated to his favorite palette. She took a deep breath, smiling slightly and peering at him. He seemed distant in that moment, mind retreating elsewhere. This was a reflection of how he had been all that week. Their earlier interaction had been quite an improvement, she wasn't about to lose him to his thoughts again.
"What are you thinking about?" she asked quietly, looking off over the lake to see what he was peering so intently at.
He shook his head slightly, as if to free his mind of thoughts, and offered her a weak smile, "Nothing really..."
"You've been doing that a lot lately." she began, avoiding his stare, "What's up?"
He studied her for a moment, then shrugged, "I dunno...I guess I didn't notice..."
"You're not-like...weirded out by Teddy are you? I mean, all the rumors flying around and everything..."
"No." Jamie replied simply, shrugging ever so slightly.
"But," she began, looking away confused, "you've been acting so differently..."
He didn't respond for a long moment, eyes wandering over the lake again, squinting in the bright sunlight as it peeked over the trees and began to set.
"It's got nothing to do with you and Teddy. I think it's great...if it makes you happy."
There was a coldness in his response, something that separated him from the words he spoke. Marie had felt the same dissidence when she was in his house, like he didn't belong there. This had been happening a lot lately, and while for logical reasons she could hardly claim to know him that well, beyond those reasons she still knew him well enough.
"There was nothing of you in that sentence." she said simply, turning to watch him again.
Jamie sighed heavily, leaning back and closing his eyes for a moment.
"I guess I can't slip it past you. You and Josh, always catching me red-handed."
"Catching you?"
"When I'm not really paying attention." he said laughing lightly.
Marie looked down at her hands, blowing a stray hair out of her face as Jamie fell silent once again. Maybe this was just the awkward stage of a new friendship hitting them a little late in the game. Though it certainly didn't make any sense, Jamie was definitely not giving her much to work with.
"So, all these rumors..."
He turned to her with a light smile, "I don't pay much attention to rumors."
She nodded, trying to hold the smile on her face, turning away from him. She felt strangley dissappointed by this reply, a little jealousy would have sated her much better than such an understanding, friendly response. At least then it was uncomplicated, easy. Not something he was hiding from her entirely. That was it, it was too 'friend'ly. She shook her head in annoyance. She tried so hard to force a platonic friendship on him, and here she was unhappy because he wasn't jealous over her. She couldn't help how she felt, but she wished her own annoying dissidence would go away. Once he fell silent again, eyes traveling and settling on the view across the lake, she chewed on her lip, thinking hard on what else it could be. With as little as she realized she knew about him, she was beginning to think even asking him directly would be useless, let alone all these beat around the bush questions. With a heavy sigh, she conceded her only chance was to just ask him up front.
"Well, you seem awfully deep in thought about something lately."
"I've got a lot of artwork to do before that portfolio review." he replied simply.
She wasn't sure if this was an answer to her statement, or a diversion from the topic.
"That's your excuse for everything." she said with a snort.
He grinned, "Once again..."
"You know we wouldn't catch you if you were better at this sort of thing."
"Well most people don't catch me." he said with a laugh, "you two have some sort of extra sensory organ I suspect."
She smiled and rolled her eyes. This was getting her nowhere very quickly. Maybe he was better at it then she thought. It was a little on the frustrating side, but she couldn't keep pushing or it would likely become a little more serious then just light-hearted chatter. However, the next question that jumped to her mind was most likely a touchy subject to begin with. She couldn't help but wonder why Jamie hadn't told her about his mother. In fact, the only information he had leaked to her about anything in his personal life was his little sister, who he spoke of most everyday. Curiosity was beginning to eat away at her in a mere few seconds. She had told him all about her own family, where she had been and what her old lives had been like. It was like a flood gate opened every time she took a seat beside him in the art room, while he kept so quiet about it she had reason to suspect he had no real human life outside of school.
"So, how come you didn't tell me about her before?" she blurted out suddenly.
He gave her a questioning look, "Her?"
"Your mom."
The look on his features turned suddenly very solemn, "You didn't ask."
The look on his face made her immediately mourn his carefree dimpled smile. She winced a little, realizing perhaps her tone had been a little accusatory and that this subject was obviously sensitive. How did she expect him to react to a question about his recently deceased mother.
"I mean, it's just a little strange. I guess I thought, because I told you all about my family-it just surprised me, that's all." she rambled, trying to save herself.
Jamie's expression did not soften, he merely looked away.
"I didn't ask you, you just decided to tell me, which is fine-great." he replied matter-of-factly.
"Well then," she said biting her lip nervously, "tell me about her. Tell me all about your family, I want to know."
He pursed his lips, avoiding catching her gaze, wringing his hands, "I told you about my sister."
"You don't have other family?"
He exhaled exasperated, "It's really not that important..."
She clenched her jaw, turning back to the lake with an intense stare. Not knowing things was like a pet peeve of hers. Her mother had always told her that famous saying 'curiosity killed the cat', but she couldn't help what was already in her nature. She felt especially greedy with Jamie. He was one of the first people she felt comfortable around. She didn't know what it was about him, maybe because he seemed unrestrained by popularity standings, but she wasn't sure how to react to it. There was no gauge in her that told her she was pushing too far, because she'd never cared enough for someone like him to push. She had only ever done it with family, but those kinds of things were easily fixed. It was like she was constantly walking on glass when she was around her friends, and in moments like this she felt like that with Jamie too.
"I was just curious, that's all." she said quietly.
He sighed, turning back to her, "I didn't mean to be rude or anything. I just don't like to share that kind of stuff until I know you better."
Though he was trying to make her feel better, he had only succeeded in making her feel a little worse. He seemed to sense this, and muttered another apology before falling silent again. It took a rather long silence before either of them spoke again, as bother were pondering what could be said in such a suddenly tense situation.
"I'll learn one day." he said, leaning back on the bench.
She waited a few moments for him to continue. After waiting far too long for her curiosity to handle she finally took the bait and asked, she was a creature of habit after all.
"Learn what?"
He turned to her with a grin, "Man, you really are nosey, you know that? Can you stand one minute without knowing what's going on?"
She would have been insulted if he hadn't flashed her a teasing grin. She rolled her eyes, trying very hard but failing miserably not to smile in return.
"No, and you do it on purpose don't you? Just to torchure me."
He nodded triumphantly, "But it got you to smile didn't it?"
She shook her head laughing.
"See? You can pretend it's annoying all you want, but when it comes right down to it, you like it." he said with a cocky grin.
"Okay," she said, grinning slyly, "we'll see how you like it..."
"That whole 'taste of your own medicine' thing doesn't normally work on me, I'll have you know." he interrupted, slouching back on the bench with an exaggerated sigh.
They sat there for a few more moments in silence, staring out at the tree-line as it swayed with the breeze. It was so quiet here, so very different from the city Marie used to live in. Here everything seemed to have an ancient quality, like it had been there forever, like it was meant to be there. There was no smog clogging the air, no city lights polluting the sky, there were no tall buildings blocking the sun as it rose and set.
"Is it very different here?" Jamie asked, watching her casually.
"It is...it's so much better here."
He nodded quietly with a thoughtful grin on his face.
"How did you know?"
He turned back to her and raised his eyebrows in surprise, "Know what?"
"How did you know I was thinking about that very thing?"
Jamie tapped his head with a wink, "Didn't I tell you I had a secret? I'm psychic..."
She rolled her eyes and looked down at her feet, trying to hide her grin, "I should've known."
They watched the sun go down, talking intermittently, keeping the conversation light and humorous. That seemed to be the best formula for them. Marie knew now she had hit on a far too sensitive topic. She was barely able to keep her curiosity at bay, she blamed it for her momentary lapse in judgement. Yes, she probably should have stopped the minute he hesitated instead of prying some more, but her family was such an important part of her life. She could barely comprehend having so much trouble with them that she wouldn't speak of them to anyone. Jamie had never told her how his mother died, where his father was, if he had any other siblings or relatives. Despite this frustrating block however, she restrained herself from questioning him again. The last thing she wanted, when things had been going so well, was an awkward spot in their friendship. They walked back to the car in a comfortable silence after the sun had fallen behind the horison. Marie thought about many things in that short distance. She felt like she was being split in two. She liked Teddy, a lot, more than any other boy she had dated, but Jamie...she sighed, peering over at him. She was too much of a coward to even be friends with him openly, too set on being comfortable in the same routine. If she was anything more than secretly friends with Jamie, she would have to give up her entire falsified existence as miss popularity, else risk having a multiple personality disorder. Was this what was meant to be a romantic relationship, or would she only feel this way so long as they were friends? She could hardly picture dating him the way she had every other boy. She laughed inwardly, there was the answer to her question. Dating him was silly. That conclusion did not settle the rift that had formed within her however. Would it be so bad? Jamie had made her feel again...she had never known how numb she was until he showed up. She felt like she had known him for years, when it was really only a month or so. How was it possible? She felt like that the moment she stepped in the art room that day. What kind of friend had such an impact on someone as to change them so drastically? Then again, maybe Jamie was something other then a friend, something other then a boyfriend. She peered over at him as they rounded the corner, maybe he was in a category all his own.
They reached the car all too soon, the sun setting over the tree line. Marie walked over to the other side and peered at Jamie, holding the keys tightly.
"So...everything is okay?"
He raised his brows at her in surprise, "What do you mean?"
"I mean, just...everything." she said slowly, watching him with intensity.
She wanted to hear it from him, she wanted to know nothing was going to change, that nothing was wrong.
"Yea," he said quietly, "everything is okay."
She nodded, unlocking the car. Though she had been wanting to hear those words from him since the night she met Teddy, they left her strangely unsatisfied. She got in the car and stared at her hands for a moment, then shook her head slightly to clear her mind. There was not much that could be done now, she had already thrown herself into something. She couldn't turn back, she didn't want to turn back.
Marie checked herself in the car mirror once more, adjusting her hair slightly, before getting out of the car. She pulled her skirt down a little, brushing off anything she may have on her shirt, then walked quickly up to the restaurant. It was one of the nicer restaurants in town, Cupid's. Obviously, by it's name, it was quite popular with couples, and rightly so. Just looking at the outside of the building would make any girl sigh. It was the most ridiculously overdone romantic place she had ever seen, with victorian architecture and plenty of rosebushes and cupid fountains, but they had wonderful food, so she was not about to complain. Butterflies swirled in her stomach as she scaled the large stairs, huffing all the way. She took a breather when she finally made it to the top, realizing perhaps she needed to start exercising again, then opened the doors and stepped inside. She peered around the room, eye's drinking in the warmth of red and brown interior as several bodies passed by, faces aglow with content, before they landed on a familiar face planted in the corner of the room, flashing a friendly smile in her direction. She flashed a grin in return, butterflies leaping into her stomach. Sure, she and Teddy had spoken on the phone, but it was brief and detached chatter, nothing like it would have to be tonight. She walked over to him slowly, head lowered for the first few paces. She rung her hands, a little nervous, but for what reason she wasn't sure. She'd never been nervous on a date before. Then again, she'd never been on a date with someone she felt she might actually like. Once she reached him, he greeted her with a muted 'Hi', and she replied with an equally quiet 'hello'. They were silent for a few moments, hesitant to catch each other's eye. A flush rose in her cheeks, "So, do you-wanna get a table?"
"Oh! right....yea, we should get a table..." Teddy said, voice trailing off.
Marie followed him over to the podium where the hostess stood. She led them to a table in a far corner of the room with a few winks in Teddy's direction, then she left them alone to mull over their menus. For a while both pretended to be enthralled by the restaurant's many wonderful dishes. This however could only be temporary, as the waitress came over and took their order. Once she left with their menus, they were forced to acknowledge each other's presence. Marie's mind was frozen mid thought, unsure what to say next. She had never been good at striking up conversation. Thankfully, Teddy relieved her of this duty.
"So, you go to Belle Tech...what classes are you taking? I heard you guys have a great magnet program..."
Teddy was obviously thinking of the Art magnet program, of which a good population of the school was in, including Jamie and hopefully including her. Though the program was quite difficult to get into...
"Well, I'm hoping to get into the A.P. art class, but other then that I'm not in the magnet program...I'm taking the usual classes really...accept french. What about you?"
"Oh you take french? I'm taking that too, I'm not very good at it though..."
"Oh-yea, it's pretty tough."
Silence fell on them again. Marie supposed it was normal for a first date, really a blind date. However, she couldn't help but think on how quickly she had grown comfortable with Jamie...
"So...what do you do? Like, outside of school?" she asked awkwardly, taking a sip of water to occupy her nervous hands.
"Well, I play the bari saxophone and occasionally percussion in the band, I'm kind of a band geek I guess." he said with a nervous smile, "My friends and I want to get a band together, but we haven't gotten around to it."
"Oh really? I used to play the piano, I used to be good at it too! I'm not sure why I stopped."
"Yea, I know a lot of people that did that after middle school. I guess after that playing an instrument just isn't cool anymore."
Marie grinned sardonically, "It's stupid, the things people will give up for popularity."
"It sounds like you're speaking from experience." he said, watching her with a curious expression.
She put down her water, averting her eyes, "Yea, I do I guess."
He raised his eyebrows, obviously urging her to continue, "Well even if it's a long story we've got time."
She smiled gently, "You don't want to hear my sob story on the first night you've met me. I don't want to chase you away."
He leaned back in his chair, "Well that's a good sign! If you did wanna chase me away I would have been a little worried."
She laughed, flushing a little.
"Well, if you won't tell me, you could at least tell me a little about yourself. Where are you from, what do you like, what's your favorite color..."
"My favorite color?"
"Yea, that is the ultimate getting to know you question you know. You can know a lot about a person just by knowing what their favorite color is!" he replied, leaning forward in his chair again.
She snorted wondering how many times he had said 'know' in that sentence, brushing her hair behind her ear, "Okay then. Let's see...I'm originally from Pennsylvania, I like...um..." she studied him for a moment, "I love to draw...but my friends don't really know that..."
"Oh the plot thickens. Why on earth wouldn't you tell your friends that?"
"Hang on now I haven't told you my favorite color!"
He slapped a hand over his mouth and nodded for her to continue. She grinned and leaned forward a little.
"My favorite color is green."
He raised his eyebrows, then gave her a knowing look and nodded, "Now I really know what you're like."
"Oh really?" she replied with a coy smile, "Well I guess you've gotten to know me enough and I can go now."
He laughed, "No, I'm not quite done with you yet."
From then on, their conversation was only occasionally punctuated with awkwardness. This should have made her happy, but for some reason, it only made Marie uneasy. She felt as if she could fall for him, and fall hard. She would not just pretend crush on him, take him to the dance and be done with it like she had planned, like she usually did with boys, however terrible it was.
"Well," he said putting down his fork and placing his napkin over his plate, "that was really good."
"Yea it was." she said quietly, looking down at her empty plate distractedly.
"So...I uh...heard there's a dance at your school this weekend." he said, leaning forward again, eyes locking on her face, "You don't have to pretend this wasn't planned for that reason..."
"Well, not only that reason Teddy. I-" she bit her lip nervously, "When I saw you at the mall the other day, well...I don't find that many people so intriguing..."
A grin spread across his face, "I had the same feeling."
She studied him for a few moments, wondering if she was throwing herself into a terrible situation. She could fall for him yes, but what would it do to her? Would it really be any easier than the situation with Jamie? Could she never think of him as anything other then a friend again if she started something...Why was she so insistent on letting him go? What was so wrong...It's too much! she thought to herself immediately, It could be ruined so easily...I could lose him so easily...She leaned forward and placed her hand on Teddy's hesitantly, wondering if she was doing the right thing. Was she leading him on? She did like him, but she had had hopeless plans...
"I really enjoyed this...tonight...it was really-really nice." she said truthfully.
He took her hand in his and offered a gentle grin, "So did I. Do you want to...I mean-the dance...do you wanna go with me? It's last minute and everything but that's..."
"I'd love to." she replied, heart sinking slightly.
She had had hopes for the dance, stupid, but they were still there.Teddy isn't so much a risk, she told herself, he wasn't ever a friend first. Her friends hardly knew anything about him. Besides, if she lost him, it was something she could deal with in these early stages, it was safe...
"Okay," he replied, eyes twinkling, "Do you wanna go somewhere? I mean I know we're already somewhere, but I was thinking somewhere else..."
She giggled, "You have such a way with words, how could I not say yes?"
He raised an eyebrow, "Haha. Where do you wanna go?"
"Let's go somewhere romantic!"
"Oh geez, you ARE a girl..."
"Well, you should be glad of that!"
He laughed endearingly, "Yea I suppose you're right."
Marie and Teddy met several times after that night, and Marie always enjoyed it. Some days were more awkward than others, but it was never to the point that she wanted to close off to him. They met every other day leading up to the dance, whether casual or romantic. There were rumors running rampant in school about them, not surprising really, they had become somewhat of a hot item without even really being an item yet. Tyler had come to Marie himself and asked if the rumors were true, then had the nerve to ask her to the dance anyway. Then again, his ego stretched far past his brain, and at times was apparently completely overpowering. The moment she refused to go with Tyler Beckett, Marie became the heroin and the villainess of the school all in one. It was funny how many girls truly hated Tyler. Even the popular girls had praised her, saying how romantic a gesture it was, though Marie had thought it more like second nature. Britney, as was usual for her, badmouthed Teddy as much as she could. She couldn't very well let Marie gain more popularity then her, and of course, she wanted to suck up to Tyler as much as possible. She often brought up the very important fact that was Teddy's popularity standing at Century, which was not very great. He was one of the many 'unnoticeables' at his school, the group in which all the kids who didn't fit into any other category went. Though most of the girls were on Marie's side and ignored this, or offered help in a makeover session, the boys latched onto this rumor fervently, obviously in defense of one of their own. Needless to say, the rumors that had spread made the dance an even more exciting event. All the girls were anxious to show off their dates and have a good time, and many were excited to meet all the new boys and girls that would be coming, even if it meant they had to steal them from a date. It was a common practice at the school, as it was at any other school really. There was of course a downside to all of this however, which Marie had known all along. Jamie. Though he seemingly ignored the rumors, or truly did not know of them, he was increasingly distanced from her. Whether because he knew, or for some other reason she wasn't sure, but it was becoming worrisome. She had begun to wonder if her efforts were completely in vain. Was she doomed to lose him no matter what? She and Teddy weren't even officially dating, and already Jamie was acting strangely...She decided perhaps it was best to bring up the subject directly. She thought they should meet elsewhere this time, make it seem more intentional rather than an afterthought born from convenience of their meetings after school. She had had a difficult time coordinating times with him, as he had to hire a babysitter for his little sister for every night she mentioned. She wondered vaguely where on earth his parents were...It was the night before the dance that they finally coordinated a time, that friday right after school. This also brought about a new and exciting (though most may not have thought so) adventure; going to Jamie's house to pick him up. She had always thought it so personal when you finally saw someone's house for the first time. Perhaps because not any random person was invited to your house, and because, in many cases, it was the place a person grew up, it was a place filled with memories that you could feel just by stepping inside. More then that however, home to Marie was the one place she could let down her guard a bit, she supposed it was the same for him. And so, when the day finally came, Marie was both giddy, and nervous when she found his mailbox, nearly buried beneath the bushes. She smiled slightly as she turned into the dirt drive, the hood of her car scraping against the low hanging branches of the trees. Seeing someone's home was like looking into their past, looking in to a piece of them. She pulled up beside the house, a little surprised to see the driveway empty. She had hoped to meet Jamie's parents, just out of curiosity, but then it only made sense no one was home, else Jamie wouldn't have needed to get Jenna a babysitter. She turned off the car and stepped out, studying the house warily. There was something...strange about it, like it didn't quite fit him. She wasn't standing outside long before she heard the door open, and heard a squeal of excitement. She smiled when she peered at the porch to see Jamie grinning wide as a pretty dark haired little girl waved excitedly at her. The two of them walked down the steps and met her halfway, the little girl, who Marie assumed to be Jenna, with much enthusiasm.
"This is Jenna, my sister." Jamie said walking up behind his little sister and messing up her hair playfully.
Jenna giggled and flashed a brilliant smile up at her. Marie knelt down and put out her hand with a playful grin, "I'm Marie."
Jenna shook her hand overzealously, "Nice to meet you." she said with a giggle.
"Thanks for letting me borrow Jamie for today Jenna." she said, smiling up at Jamie.
Jenna nodded enthusiastically, then gave her a very fervent look with her large green eyes, "We can share!"
Marie giggled, standing back up, "Sounds good to me."
Jenna nodded with approval and stepped back as Marie stood, the playful smile returning to the little girl's face. Jamie led her back up the porch, through the red door and into his house, where much to Marie's surprise, Josh reclined comfortably on the couch, staring at the prim maroon colored wallpaper and whistling a tune. He leapt up when they entered and greeted Marie with a casual wave and a quirky grin.
"The new babysitter," Jamie said with a laugh, "I'm a little worried..."
Josh waved a hand in dismissal, "Hey, I've been baby-sitting for you forever now..."
Jamie nodded, "Yea, we just can't get him to LEAVE."
Jenna giggled and latched onto Josh's legs.
"I don't want Joshy to leave!" she exclaimed.
Jamie laughed and told Marie to wait for him while he went to his room. Marie took that opportunity to look around the living room. It was very clean...strangely so perhaps. It was also very empty, lacking most of the things one might consider normal for a living room. There was no television, no radio, only couches, a fireplace and one lonely grandfather clock sitting in the corner. The walls were devoid of photos, the mantelpiece empty where there should have been some evidence of anything to do with a family. It was cold. It was not a home. She wandered a little further in as Jenna and Josh started to play a game. The house felt like a model house. A place set up for viewing only, a place that was uninhabited. She wandered into the dining room, to find the one thing that seemed to offer any semblance of comfort thus-far, a homely looking piano. She couldn't help but wonder if they had just moved in. She sat down at the bench, looking all around in hopes of finding something...anything to show some kind of human presence within the walls.
"My mother used to play that piano every day."
She turned around to find Jamie wandering slowly towards her, a solemn look on his face. He took a seat beside her and ran a finger over the keys.
"She was getting really good at it."
"Was?" Marie said hesitantly.
"She died, a few years ago." he said quietly, offering her a weak smile. "I used to wake up to her playing in the mornings. You'd think it would get annoying, but it never did..."
Marie looked down at her hands, unsure what to say save the proper response, "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault," he replied, shaking his head slightly, "I always thought it was so funny when people said that."
"Yea," Marie replied with a nod, "it is kind of weird..."
They were silent for a few moments, staring at the piano tensely, the sound of Jenna's giggles echoing through the empty room. Marie stared at the keys, brows furrowed in thought. She felt as if Jamie had been hiding something huge from her, not telling her about his mother. She had told him everything about EVERYTHING in her life in their conversation heavy after school meetings. How had she not noticed she seemed to know next to nothing about him? She wondered vaguely if his father was even alive. Would Jamie even tell her if he wasn't? He sure seemed to be missing most of the time if he was, else maybe he would be here watching Jenna. Jamie stood abruptly, clearing his throat.
"So...are you ready to go?"
"Do I get to see your room?" she asked with a coy smile, awakened from her reverie.
He laughed, "I don't think you're ready for that yet."
She scoffed at him with mock anger and crossed her arms stubbornly, "Well then..."
"Come on!" he said with a chuckle, grabbing her arm and pulling her up from the bench, "We're gonna be late."
She huffed as he pulled her out to the living room, "But we're just going to the park! We don't need to be on time..."
"Bye Jenna!" he said, stopping and bending down to hug her, "Now be really, really bad for Josh, he loves that you know."
Jenna laughed, squeezing him tightly, "Okay, I will!"
"Yea thanks for that man." Josh said crossing his arms and smiling bitterly as he leaned down to take a seat on the couch again.
"Aw you know Jenna would never ever REALLY be bad." Jamie said straightening up and placing a hand on his sister's head, "Right Jenna?"
He winked down at her with a wide grin, and she winked back with a giggle, then turned to Marie and waved excitedly, "Bye Marie!"
"Bye bye Jenna." she replied with a gentle smile.
Jenna latched onto Jamie once more before retreating to the couch, and jumping on Josh, who was seemingly unawares. He let out a loud huff as Jenna laughed uncontrollably. Jamie looked ready to chastise her, but only succeeded in stifling chuckles as he walked out the door, "Sorry Josh, I'll pay you double this time!"
"You can't afford to pay me for this!" he called after them laughing as he attacked Jenna with tickles.
When they reached the park, the air was growing cold, and it was seemingly empty, save for one car in the dirt lot. The trees were beginning to change their color, leaves sprouting plumes of orange and yellow, some even a deep crimson. Marie turned off the car and sat for a moment, looking out the windows.
"Fall is a beautiful season." Jamie said quietly, as if he had been reading her mind.
She smiled to herself.
"It's my favorite one." she replied thoughtfully, "It's the perfect one."
"The temperature is perfect, not too cold, not too hot..."
"And you get to wear long sleeves...well us normal people that wear T-shirts in summertime."
Jamie shrugged, "I like long sleeves..."
"Yea, apparently." she teased, pulling her keys out of the ignition, and sitting back in her seat for a moment.
"So...let's take a walk."
They took a large trail around the lake, walking at a leisurely pace, talking like they usually did. There wasn't a moment that they didn't have something to say to each other. Even if there was a brief moment of silence, it was a completely natural pause, with no awkwardness, quite the opposite, as Marie noted, of the date she'd first gone on with Teddy, not that this was really a date. But then, there was something very special and different about what she had with Jamie. She'd never gotten so comfortable with someone in such a short amount of time. Any discomfort she'd felt with Jamie had ended by the fourth day. They stopped in unison at a bench along the way and took a seat, silence taking over them as a cold breeze rustled the leaves above their heads. She took a deep breath, smiling slightly and peering at him. He seemed distant in that moment, mind retreating elsewhere. This was a reflection of how he had been all that week. Their earlier interaction had been quite an improvement, she wasn't about to lose him to his thoughts again.
"What are you thinking about?" she asked quietly, looking off over the lake to see what he was peering so intently at.
He shook his head slightly, as if to free his mind of thoughts, and offered her a weak smile, "Nothing really..."
"You've been doing that a lot lately." she began, avoiding his stare, "What's up?"
He studied her for a moment, then shrugged, "I dunno...I guess I didn't notice..."
"You're not-like...weirded out by Teddy are you? I mean, all the rumors flying around and everything..."
"No." Jamie replied simply, shrugging ever so slightly.
"But," she began, looking away confused, "you've been acting so differently..."
He didn't respond for a long moment, eyes wandering over the lake again, squinting in the bright sunlight as it peeked over the trees and began to set.
"It's got nothing to do with you and Teddy. I think it's great...if it makes you happy."
There was a coldness in his response, something that separated him from the words he spoke. Marie had felt the same dissidence when she was in his house, like he didn't belong there. This had been happening a lot lately, and while for logical reasons she could hardly claim to know him that well, beyond those reasons she still knew him well enough.
"There was nothing of you in that sentence." she said simply, turning to watch him again.
Jamie sighed heavily, leaning back and closing his eyes for a moment.
"I guess I can't slip it past you. You and Josh, always catching me red-handed."
"Catching you?"
"When I'm not really paying attention." he said laughing lightly.
Marie looked down at her hands, blowing a stray hair out of her face as Jamie fell silent once again. Maybe this was just the awkward stage of a new friendship hitting them a little late in the game. Though it certainly didn't make any sense, Jamie was definitely not giving her much to work with.
"So, all these rumors..."
He turned to her with a light smile, "I don't pay much attention to rumors."
She nodded, She nodded, trying to hold the smile on her face, turning away from him. She felt strangley dissappointed by this reply, a little jealousy would have sated her much better than such an understanding, friendly response. That was it, it was too 'friend'ly. She shook her head in annoyance. She tried so hard to force a platonic friendship on him, and here she was unhappy because he wasn't jealous over her. She couldn't help how she felt, but she wished her own annoying dissidence would go away. Once he fell silent again, eyes traveling and settling on the view across the lake, she chewed on her lip, thinking hard on what else it could be. With as little as she realized she knew about him, she was beginning to think even asking him directly would be useless, let alone all these beat around the bush questions. She sighed, conceding her only chance was to just question.
"Well, you seem awfully deep in thought about something lately."
"I've got a lot of artwork to do before that portfolio review." he replied simply.
She wasn't sure if this was an answer to her statement, or a diversion from the topic.
"That's your excuse for everything." she said with a snort.
He grinned, "Once again..."
"You know we wouldn't catch you if you were better at this sort of thing."
"Well most people don't catch me." he said with a laugh, "you two have some sort of extra sensory organ I suspect."
She smiled and rolled her eyes. This was getting her nowhere very quickly. Maybe he was better at it then she thought. It was a little on the frustrating side, but she couldn't keep pushing or it would likely become a little more serious then just light-hearted chatter. However, the next question that jumped to her mind was most likely a touchy subject to begin with. She couldn't help but wonder why Jamie hadn't told her about his mother. In fact, the only information he had leaked to her about anything in his personal life was his little sister, who he spoke of most everyday. Curiosity was beginning to eat away at her in a mere few seconds. She had told him all about her own family, where she had been and what her old lives had been like. It was like a flood gate opened every time she took a seat beside him in the art room, while he kept so quiet about it she had reason to suspect he had no real human life outside of school.
"So, how come you didn't tell me about her before?" she blurted out suddenly.
He gave her a questioning look, "Her?"
"Your mom."
The look on his features turned suddenly very solemn, "You didn't ask."
The look on his face made her immediately mourn his carefree dimpled smile. She winced a little, realizing perhaps her tone had been a little accusatory and that this subject was obviously sensitive. How did she expect him to react to a question about his recently deceased mother.
"I mean, it's just a little strange. I guess I thought, because i told you all about my family-it just surprised me, that's all." she rambled, trying to save herself.
Jamie's expression did not soften, he merely looked away.
"I didn't ask you, you just decided to tell me, which is fine-great." he replied matter-of-factly.
"Well then," she said biting her lip nervously, "tell me about her. Tell me all about your family, I want to know."
He pursed his lips, avoiding catching her gaze, wringing his hands, "I told you about my sister."
"You don't have other family?"
He exhaled exasperated, "It's really not that important..."
She clenched her jaw, turning back to the lake with an intense stare. She hated not knowing things. Her mother had always told her that famous saying 'curiosity killed the cat', but she couldn't help what was already in her nature. She felt especially greedy with Jamie. He was one of the first people she felt comfortable around. She didn't know what it was about him, maybe because he seemed unrestrained by popularity standings, but she wasn't sure how to react to it. She couldn't tell when she was pushing too far, because she'd never cared enough about someone like him to push. She had only ever done it with family, but those kinds of things were easily fixed. She felt like she was constantly walking on glass when she was around her friends, and in moments like this she felt like that with Jamie too.
"I was just curious, that's all." she said quietly.
He sighed, turning back to her, "I didn't mean to be rude or anything. I just don't like to share that kind of stuff until I know you better."
Though he was trying to make her feel better, he had only succeeded in making her feel a little worse. He seemed to sense this, and muttered another apology before falling silent again. It took a rather long silence before either of them spoke again, as bother were pondering what could be said in such a suddenly tense situation.
"I'll learn one day." he said, leaning back on the bench.
She waited a few moments for him to continue. After waiting far too long for her curiosity to handle she finally took the bait and asked, she was a creature of habit after all.
"Learn what?"
He turned to her with a grin, "I got you! Man, you really are nosey, you know that? Can you stand one minute without knowing what's going on?"
She would have been insulted if he hadn't flashed her a teasing grin. She rolled her eyes, trying very hard but failing miserably not to smile in return.
"No, and you! You do it on purpose don't you? Just to torchure me."
He nodded triumphantly, "But it got you to smile didn't it?"
She shook her head laughing.
"See? You can pretend it's annoying all you want, but when it comes right down to it, you like it." he said with a cocky grin.
"Okay," she said, grinning slyly, "we'll see how you like it..."
"That whole 'taste of your own medicine' thing doesn't normally work on me, I'll have you know." he interrupted, slouching back on the bench with an exaggerated sigh.
They sat there for a few more moments in silence, staring out at the tree-line as it swayed with the breeze. It was so quiet here, so very different from the city Marie used to live in. Here everything seemed to have an ancient quality, like it had been there forever, like it was meant to be there. There was no smog clogging the air, no city lights polluting the sky, there were no tall buildings blocking the sun as it rose and set.
"Is it very different here?" Jamie asked, watching her casually.
"It is...it's so much better here."
He nodded quietly with a thoughtful grin on his face.
"How did you know?"
He turned back to her and raised his eyebrows in surprise, "Know what?"
"How did you know I was thinking about that very thing?"
Jamie tapped his head with a wink, "Didn't I tell you I had a secret? I'm psychic..."
She rolled her eyes and looked down at her feet, trying to hide her grin, "I should've known."
They watched the sun go down, talking intermittently, keeping the conversation light and humorous. That seemed to be the best formula for them. Marie knew now she had hit on a far too sensitive topic. She was barely able to keep her curiosity at bay, she blamed it for her momentary lapse in judgement. Yes, she probably should have stopped the minute he hesitated instead of prying some more, but her family was such an important part of her life. She could barely comprehend having so much trouble with them that she wouldn't speak of them to anyone. Jamie had never told her how his mother died, where his father was, if he had any other siblings or relatives. Despite this frustrating block however, she restrained herself from questioning him again. The last thing she wanted, when things had been going so well, was an awkward spot in their friendship. They walked back to the car in a comfortable silence after the sun had fallen behind the horison. Marie thought about many things in that short distance. She felt like she was being split in two. She liked Teddy, a lot, more than any other boy she had dated, but Jamie...she sighed, peering over at him. She was too much of a coward to tell him, too set on being comfortable in the same routine. If she dated Jamie, she would have to give up her entire falsified existence as miss popularity, else risk having a multiple personality disorder. Was this what was meant to be a romantic relationship, or would she only feel this way so long as they were friends? She could hardly picture dating him the way she had every other boy. She laughed inwardly, there was the answer to her question. Dating him was silly. That conclusion did not settle the rift that had formed within her however. Would it be so bad? Jamie had made her feel again...she had never known how numb she was until he showed up. She felt like she had known him for years, when it was really only a month or so. How was it possible? She felt like that the moment she stepped in the art room that day. What kind of friend had such an impact on someone as to change them so drastically? Then again, maybe Jamie was something other then a friend, something other then a boyfriend. She peered over at him as they rounded the corner, maybe he was in a category all his own.
They reached the car all too soon, the sun setting over the tree line. Marie walked over to the other side and peered at Jamie, holding the keys tightly.
"So...everything is okay?"
He raised his brows at her in surprise, "What do you mean?"
"I mean, just...everything." she said slowly, watching him with intensity.
She wanted to hear it from him, she wanted to know nothing was going to change. She wanted what they had to stay forever.
"Yea," he said quietly, "everything is okay."
She nodded, unlocking the car. Though she had been wanting to hear those words from him since the night she met Teddy, they left her strangely unsatisfied. She got in the car and stared at her hands for a moment, then shook her head slightly to clear her mind. There was not much that could be done now, she had already thrown herself into something. She couldn't turn back, she didn't want to turn back.
