Marie sighed listlessly as the clock ticked slowly by. Already two weeks of school had gone by, and not quickly. It felt as if the school year's end was getting further and further away the longer she sat in this horribly boring class. The teacher preached passionately about the feudalistic society of medieval England, pointing to various pictorial representations littering the walls of the bland white classroom. This decor covered the entire school save the section for the magnet program, the principal was quite fond of plainness. In fact, just a few years ago as Jamie had told her, the school had had many beautiful murals decorating it's walls. Then the new principal took a look around her first day on the job, and her first order of business was to paint over them with a terribly boring grayish white. While feudalistic society was probably the most interesting topic they'd covered all week in this class, it still had yet to have any kind of impression upon her. World history was not a class she was fond of thus far, and it was only the second week of school. Jen had been passing her notes back and forth, which seemed to heighten the excitement of the seemingly extended class at least a tiny bit. Of course, the subject matter was so typical. Jen, as boy crazy as she was and had always been, was mulling over the idea of asking a certain new exchange student named Antonio to the fall dance. Marie was actually quite glad for this, as Jen usually picked the most self involved boys she could find, and Antonio was the first one she had met that seemed fairly decent, if not a little over obsessed with his appearance. Of all the girls in their group, Jen was by far the most deserving of a decent guy. The rest of them deserved, and usually obtained much to their own pleasure, the most shallow and immature boys in school. Which coincidentally, were usually the boys that made it past the scrutiny and into their crowd. The school bell rang, much to Marie's utter relief, and she and Jen gathered their books and quickly hurried off to lunch. The cafeteria was bustling and crammed per usual, likewise their table was full today. Friday was the day everyone in her group had lunch at the same time. The table was already packed when they got there, but they managed to squeeze in with their lunch trays between one of the more friendly girls there, Angela, and Paul the captain of the Lacrosse team. They were greeted very warmly of course. Angela, besides Jen, was one of the cooler girls Marie had befriended. She was always denouncing the ever popular teasing, which of course was Marie's favorite part about her. When Angela was around Marie didn't have to worry about leaving in a rage, for the group chatting about someone whom they nicknamed for their own purposes, despite what the said nicknamed may feel about this matter. Paul was a pretty decent guy as well, though he did have a reputation as a bit of a player, which could also be looked passed by anyone who was merely a friend. This reputation had become abundantly clear last year when he cheated several times with several girls, one included was Jen.
"The fall dance is coming soon!" Jen said excitedly, eyeing Antonio as he took a seat across from her, squeezing in between Tyler and Britney, much to Britney's dislike.
"Did I hear 'fall dance'?" he said with a mildly flirtatious smile, and a rather heavy italian accent.
"Oh yea! Oh my gosh, it's coming so soon isn't it? Oh girls we should go dress shopping this weekend!" chirped Alicia, the captain of the cheerleading squad.
She was the stereotypical blond, skinny girl with rather large breasts and a worrisome lack of common sense. It was almost sad that she had to be there to confirm the dumb blonde theory, as most blondes Marie had met before were nothing like this. Then again, Alicia was not a natural blonde, perhaps a bit of that intense bleaching had gone to the poor girl's head.
"Oh yea! " Jen began, coming alive at the mention of shopping, "We should go to Neiman Marcus, I heard they just got this new shoe line..."
"Neiman Marcus is terrible," Marie cut in with a laugh, "Last time I went there they had pink leopard print shoes for several hundred dollars that I could easily buy at Walmart if I lacked enough fashion sense."
"You're so weird Marie, I saw those shoes too," Britney said quickly, "and they looked like something Paris Hilton would wear!"
"Wait," Alicia began slowly, "Isn't that a good thing?"
The table was silent for a moment, then erupted in laughter, which Marie didn't quite understand. She'd never kept up much on the entertainment industry. She knew who Paris was, but wasn't versed in the girl's fashion sense. She laughed along however, as was customary in the front she'd molded around herself. She wondered often if any of the other girls needed to put so much effort into this as she did, or if they were truly the way they appeared.
"Aw man guys, this conversation is getting more and more girly. Maybe we should bring up something a little more masculine huh?" Paul said with a laugh.
Marie lost sight of the conversation then as a familiar face walked by. Jamie gave her a very discreet smile as he and Josh hurried to the other side of the room. They had been meeting every day after school, just as planned, but thus far it had been kept a very tight secret. It was by unspoken agreement that if Jamie's group found out and Marie's group found out, both would have more trouble than was worth. With the intensity of the rivalry between the two dominant social standings at that school, it certainly wouldn't only be their particular groups that would give them trouble. Marie was not fond of the idea of being at the mercy of Sam, Jamie's quick tempered ex girlfriend. Marie was sure Jamie would not likely be fond of being endlessly hassled by her crowd either, as she would not be either. It was a bit of an uncomfortable situation, needless to say, but for great lack of courage she kept quiet. After all, Sam may be brave enough to stand up to them, but Marie certainly wasn't. When she returned her attention back to the table only one person seemed to notice the nature of her gaze. Jen watched her for a few moments, eyes trailing back to Jamie's table before returning to the conversation at hand, which was quickly turning into an interesting comparison of the boys to the girls.
"Guys can care about clothes too!" Alicia cried, "What's wrong with guys liking to shop?"
"Yea," Jen said with a nod, eyes flickering to Antonio briefly, "It's nice to have a boyfriend to shop with..."
"Boys should learn to get rid of that annoying tough guy attitude, all girls really want is a guy who'll think like she does!" Angela said with an enthusiastic sigh.
Tyler piped up then, a charming smile on his face, "For everyone but Jeremy here...it's just weird."
He turned to Jeremy who sat on his other side, and both laughed amicably. Jeremy was the closest thing to a metro-sexual Marie had seen, and probably the closest to feminine a boy could be without being harassed endlessly. Though he wasn't quite as effeminate as the reputation told, he was still very sensible and conscious of how he dressed, as well as how his pale blond hair looked among other things. He was a good looking guy, and because of that, most girls didn't seem put off by his unusual talent with fashion, in fact most found it a very charming feature.
"Well maybe you should try it out, I bet Jeremy could help quite a bit with your fashion sense." Marie said, though it came out much more flirtatious then she meant it to. She was more trying to inadvertently insult him more than anything else.
Tyler raised a very neat brow and grinned, obviously mistaking her sarcasm, "Or maybe you could help me out a bit."
Britney looked back and forth between the two with a scowl, Marie was giving him a blank stare, while he was still flashing his legendary smile. How her conduct could even read to Britney as something she should be jealous about, Marie wasn't sure, but obviously it still was, and Britney promptly huffed and got up to leave. Britney was not accustomed to not getting her way, and if she had say in it, Tyler would be hers, that much was blatantly obvious.
"Did the bell ring?" Alicia asked quickly as she saw Britney leaving, "I didn't hear it ring, that's so weird..."
No one commented on this however, and merely continued the conversation as if nothing had happened. It was a strange occurrence that happened often at their table, as Britney was quite the drama queen, so the custom of ignoring her little fits had taken affect. It was a very cold thing to do, even to Britney. Marie got up to follow her, feeling a bit guilty, and perhaps that she should explain what had really happened.
"Hey, where are you going?" Tyler asked quickly.
"I'll be back." she replied, hurriedly gathering her things in case she missed the bell, and rushing after Britney who had already exited the cafeteria. Marie flung open the door and immediately ran into the very person she'd been avoiding during school hours, a book flying from her half open bag in the process and landing on the scuffed tiles right before his feet. Jamie smiled a little bashfully and leaned down to get it for her. She was so stunned by his sudden appearance she stood there for a few moments, mouth opening and closing in hopes of finding words. The best she could come up with was, in a strangely accusatory tone, "What are you doing here, weren't you just in the cafeteria?"
If he weren't standing right in front of her she would have smacked herself in the forehead.
"Yea, and apparently you were leaving it in a rush..." he replied with a small frown, handing her the book.
She shook her head slightly in annoyance with herself, "I'm sorry... I was just surprised that's all-thanks for picking up my book."
He uncrossed his arms and nodded, though the small frown did not disappear. She very quickly came to miss those disarming dimples of his. She ducked her head a little, having the feeling that perhaps their silence with each other during school had suddenly become a dissent rather then an agreement.
"Do you want to walk to class together?" He asked tentatively.
Marie bit her lip, mentally groaning, unsure how to tell him she couldn't. She felt for sure she should at least explain to him why he was pushing for a friendship that couldn't be in the open. Already standing in the hallway with him for such an extended period of time was risky, seeing as the bell was about to ring, and the very group of people she feared the most was sitting within.
"So, I guess I'll see you later then?" he said after a few moments of silence, obviously understanding her reaction. She nodded, unsure what she could say at this point to take back her harshness. There wasn't anything she could do to fix their position either way. It just was what it was, whether he liked it or not. He nodded after a few seconds, as if confirming something to himself, then he walked back into the bustling cafeteria. She stood for a moment, all of a sudden feeling very frazzled. He had served to upset the balance she had settled in to. During school, she was someone very different from when she met him after school, during school she was the furthest thing she could possibly be from herself, with him she was closer than she been since she was a kid, when social standings didn't matter. Seeing him there had brought the front crashing down so fast she felt dizzy in its absence, and obvious from her reaction, it disillusioned her. Maybe she was a coward, maybe she was being immature, but it was so hard to let go of an existence she'd settled into for so long. Her memory didn't even extend back to a time when she wasn't worried about what people thought. How could he expect her to let it go so quickly? And after knowing him for so short a time? She was jolted from her thoughts as the school bell rang. With a heavy sigh she hurried to the bathroom to make sure she didn't look as discomfited as she felt, then walked out and stood by the door to wait for Jen and Angela, readying her mask for the rest of the school day.
Jamie barely had time to sit at the lunch table when the bell rang. Maybe it was better that way anyway, his friends wouldn't have the chance to question his suddenly soured mood. He wasn't even sure why he was so annoyed with her, what did he honestly expect? They'd only known each other two weeks, were they supposed to be best pals by now? She'd obviously been friends with that crowd much longer than he'd known her and here he felt he knew her more than he should know someone in two weeks, it was ridiculous. He shook his head as he walked down the slowly filling hall, Josh, Sam and David chatting as they walked alongside him. Though he couldn't help the tumultuous feelings he had on the subject, he knew he was being silly. He was going to help her with her art, and nothing more. Truth be told, he didn't think she needed anyone's help, he only suggested it because he had the terrible feeling if he didn't do something to keep her around, she would disappear. Not that it should have mattered much to him either way. She could cause him a lot of trouble if she wanted to, without even knowing it. It was more of an issue to keep her around then not, what was he thinking? Josh had been right, he had enough baggage, he should help her then move on before she figured it out. He was so engrossed in his thoughts he hardly noticed he'd already made it to his locker, let alone that he'd been standing at it for an extended period of time without movement. Josh was eyeing him with an unusual amount of suspicion. Even for Jamie this behavior was a little odd.
"Hey-helloooooo," Josh said, waving a hand in front of his friend's face. "What's got you so caught up?"
"Huh?" Jamie said blinking at him, "Oh, uh, nothing. You know, that review is in a few weeks...guess I'm just suffering from lack of sleep..."
Josh raised a well groomed eyebrow at him, "Because that only happens around portfolio review time..."
Jamie chuckled in spite of himself, "Yea okay you have a point."
Josh slammed his locker closed and leaned his shoulder on it comfortably. Josh was the most strangely relaxed person Jamie had ever known, though quite on the contrary almost as highly defensive on certain points as Sam could be. In fact, had Sam not taken leading role of the defender against Britney, it would certainly have been Josh throwing insults and huffing angrily in her wake. However, this leisurely moment was the infinite opposite, and quite typical of him.
"So are you gonna talk to me or just keep brooding all day and fail that exam we're gonna have next period. Brooding plus a math exam is definitely the equation for an F. Hope you studied that."
"Hmm, I'm not sure I saw that in the review guide," Jamie replied, finally getting around to grabbing his literature book and closing his locker, "But I'm sure the teacher will be awfully thrilled with me now that I know the answer to that one."
Josh nodded with a small grin, "Now that's the way to handle it."
He stood straight and started down the hallway, Jamie walking beside him. Josh didn't question the matter again. They'd been friends since kindergarten, and close at that, long enough for Josh to know when to stop nagging about a subject like this. Jamie and Josh never once fought or had too many disagreements. The only one in their group that truly caused that kind of trouble was Sam, and she was never able to get Jamie or Josh on her side at separate times, they were inseparable that way. Sam and David caught up with them then, as if on cue, Sam smiling with unusual pleasantness. She had never been an overly happy person, and was normally most pleased right after a successful debate. The very reason she'd joined the school's debate team in the first place, it was only natural for her. This occurrence of course had been a relief for Josh, Jamie and David, who now endured far less of Sam's intentionally chosen arguments. She and David were more often then not seen together, maybe because Josh and Jamie were always glued at the hip. David was a bit like Josh, oddly laid back, but not quite to the extreme extent, he mostly was just bored. Which was why it was so strange that he and Sam spent so much time together. He hated her angry rants more than anyone in their group, but then Jamie supposed arguing was a good relief for boredom.
"Hey what are you guys doing after school?" Sam began in a chipper tone, "My parents are out of the house tonight..."
"What about your little sister?" Josh said casually.
"Oh she won't care..."
"Yea she likes it because that means she gets to watch scary movies way too adult for her." David said with a small grin.
"Oh very responsible of you." Josh replied.
"I've got a lot of work to do." Jamie said quickly, hoping to have added enough disappointment in his voice to make this believable.
By far the worst thing that could happen was that Sam would find out about the little arrangement he had with Marie after school, let alone the multiple other things she was unaware of that he had to deal with that night . Though he and Sam had clearly broken up, she still retained some possessiveness, which could easily be credited to her general personality. Jamie had the feeling she would come to the immediate conclusion that the best thing she could do to express her feelings was to give Marie as much difficulty as possible, which was quite a lot by Sam's standards.
"Aw come on! Thats the worst excuse you've ever come up with."
He chewed on his lip for a moment, brain rapidly firing off the standard excuses he kept on catalogue for times like this, but none seemed satisfactory enough that Sam would leave him alone.
"Hey, don't you know portfolio reviews are coming up? Of course it's gonna cut into work time." Josh interjected casually.
Jamie made a mental note to thank Josh profusely later for his calm quick thinking.
"Oh yea," Sam said, a sour look spreading over her face, "Well fine. But YOU have no excuse!"
She gave Josh a hawk like glare, probably in hopes of frightening him into coming, which was typical of Sam. Josh was used to this however and laughed at her efforts.
"Whether you stare daggers at me or not, I'll come. Mostly because I wouldn't have anything better to do."
She scoffed and playfully smacked him on the arm. This was Josh's very clever contribution to averting Sam's attention. Jamie had to admit, his friend's laid back personality was extremely useful when lying.
"Why are we supposed to be free anyway? What are you planning?"
She grinned and opened her mouth to explain when the bell rang shrilly, and she and David immediately parted, hurrying off to their class on the other side of school. Josh and Jamie took their time walking to their classroom, as it was only a few paces down the hall. They stopped outside for a brief moment as a large pack of students started filing in. Jamie took that opportune moment to do it then before he forgot.
"Hey, thanks for covering for me..."
"Don't worry about it," Josh said quickly with a casual wave of his hand, "I know how she can get, but eventually portfolio reviews will be over you know."
Jamie frowned slightly, thinking back on what happened earlier. Maybe by then Marie would be gone anyway. He couldn't possibly expect it to last if anyone besides the three of them were to find out, despite the fact that he was already tired of keeping it such a serious secret. Then again he'd been keeping secrets far longer than this.
"I don't think it's anything to worry about." he replied with a casual shrug.
Josh raised an eyebrow questioningly, but didn't say anything further when they walked into class, just moments before the bell rang. The moment the teacher started talking, Jamie had the feeling this exam was going to be a long one.
Marie walked eagerly down to the art room as soon as the bell rang. The longer the day had gone on the more she felt that she should explain herself, or fix things in some way. She'd been thinking on it all day, wondering if she should have just walked with him, what harm could it have done? He obviously didn't quite agree with her on being seen together. She wasn't sure why it mattered so very much for them to be separated during school. Then again, the more she fought the subject out with herself the more uneasy she felt. It was too strange, she should just stick to how things were. He should understand after some explanation, shouldn't he? She stood at the door for a moment, biting her lip. Maybe she just shouldn't go in, maybe she should just leave him alone. This thought was fleeting however, and she soon opened the door in spite of herself and promptly marched to the end of the room where he sat quietly, seemingly waiting for her. It seemed odd that he wasn't painting or drawing, as was how she usually found him.
"I know I shouldn't have..."
"I understand."
She stared at him dumbstruck.
"I don't think you..."
He shook his head slightly, looking down at his hands, "It's all right. I shouldn't expect you to want to be seen in public with me. It would never ordinarily happen."
She opened her mouth to deny it, but she couldn't. He was right, no matter how hurtful it sounded. However, despite it's truth, or perhaps because of it, a horrible feeling settled in her stomach, and she took the seat across from him, eyes averted.
"I don't want it to be that way."
"It sure seems like it." he said with a tone of mild surprise.
"I know, I know it does. It's just, I'm a lot different around them, I can't just....I can't be the same when I'm around you, it would be weird..."
"You don't have to explain." he said standing slowly, "I get it. Once you're in the art program I'll leave you alone..."
"No!" she exclaimed leaping up, "No Jamie you're not listening to me..."
"What are you trying to say then?"
"I want to be friends with you..."
He laughed sardonically, "That makes sense then, now I know exactly what you're saying."
"Just give me a minute to explain will you!" she cried vehemently.
He crossed his arms and stared at her expectantly, waiting for her to speak.
"Okay, look," she began slowly, wondering how to make this sound right, "I know it seems weird, it's weird to me too. I don't know what to do yet, but I do know I want to be friends with you, I just-I don't think we could do it...in public..."
His frown deepened to very near a scowl. Obviously she had made it even worse then it had been before. He shook his head at her with obvious disgust.
"Why would you say that? Do you even hear yourself!"
She scoffed at him, face rouging with both embarrassment and anger.
"Just because you came around doesn't mean I have to drop everything! I have a life besides you!"
He shook his head, "I know you have a life besides me, but don't say you want to be friends if you don't!"
"I'm not lying! I do want to be friends! It's not as easy as you think..."
He started walking away from her then, a scowl on his face, but she hurried up behind him, not ready to end this on such a bad note. She had to make him understand, he had to know what it meant to her...
"Wait a minute..."
"What," he said turning, "so you can tell me how hard it is to stand up to them? Why do you care so much what they think? From the way you talk about them, it doesn't even sound like you like them all that much. You're friends with people you don't like, but apparently you want to be friends with me, on the condition that we not be seen together..."
She opened her mouth a few times to speak, but only succeeded in making herself look like a fish. She stepped back, averting her eyes. It wasn't clear why it mattered so much, but it did. They were the only people she'd known as friends, the only kind of people she had ever known as friends, she was too annoyed with them to like them, and too afraid to let them go. Both were silent for a few minutes, leaving the air between them tense with unspoken words. Her eyes were beginning to well with tears, but she fought them back. No one had ever said things like that to her, but they were things she told herself constantly, things she always ignored. She knew he was right, but she wasn't happy about it.
"What do you want me to do." she said quietly, voice grave, "What do you want from me?"
"Nothing," he replied mildly apologetic, but still through gritted teeth, "I shouldn't have been so harsh...It's none of my business..."
She couldn't bring herself to look at him right then, why she didn't know, but she felt that if she caught his stare she might not be able to contain herself anymore. It was too easy to stand back and let everything happen, it was too easy to let them shape her, why couldn't he see that? She nodded slightly, urging herself to move, then stepped forward and began to head out of the room herself, hoping he wouldn't follow her. She still had a chance to escape, she could still let go of him, she could still go back to the way she was. She hadn't known him long, maybe he would be easily forgotten...But he grabbed her arm to stop her and she whirled around to face him. They were inches apart, the air between them seemed to be pulling at them to move closer. It was almost involuntary. She finally looked up, tears subsiding and gazed at him silently. They stood that way for what seemed like hours. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, and when she opened them again, he had stepped back, rubbing the back of his neck tensely.
"Maybe we should pick this up again on monday." he stated, avoiding her gaze with a little too much effort.
She nodded in accord, but continued to stand there, feeling as if she needed to do just one thing before she took off. She felt utterly lost again, like she was scrambling. Scrambling to find a solution, to figure out what was going on. Scrambling to find out why he affected her like this. and why she wanted it.
"I'm not the only one." she said quietly, meeting his gaze with unwavering intensity.
She didn't give him the chance to reply to her, and walked quickly out to her car, relieved that he didn't stop her again. For the first time that week she felt like she'd accomplished something, but she wasn't sure why, or what it was. She started up her car strangely numb from the encounter and drove down the road, peering at the school as it disappeared beyond the horizon.
Jamie barely had time to sit at the lunch table when the bell rang. Maybe it was better that way anyway, his friends wouldn't have the chance to question his suddenly soured mood. He wasn't even sure why he was so annoyed with her, what did he honestly expect? They'd only known each other two weeks, were they supposed to be best pals by now? She'd obviously been friends with that crowd much longer than he'd known her and here he felt he knew her through and through, it was ridiculous. He shook his head as he walked down the slowly filling hall, Josh, Sam and David chatting as they walked alongside him. Though he couldn't help the tumultuous feelings he had on the subject, he knew he was being silly. He was going to help her with her art, and nothing more. Truth be told, he didn't think she needed anyone's help, he only suggested it because he had the terrible feeling if he didn't do something to keep her around, she would disappear. Not that it should have mattered much to him either way. She could cause him a lot of trouble if she wanted to, without even knowing it. It was more of an issue to keep her around then not, what was he thinking? Josh had been right, she would most likely never come back if he told her anyway. He was so engrossed in his thoughts he hardly noticed he'd already made it to his locker, let alone that he'd been standing at it for an extended period of time without movement. Josh was eyeing him with an unusual amount of suspicion. Even for Jamie this behavior was a little odd.
"Hey-helloooooo," Josh said, waving a hand in front of his friend's face. "What's got you so caught up?"
"Huh?" Jamie said blinking at him, "Oh, uh, nothing. You know, that review is in a few weeks...guess I'm just suffering from lack of sleep..."
Josh raised a well groomed eyebrow at him, "Because that only happens around portfolio review time..."
Jamie chuckled in spite of himself, "Yea okay you have a point."
Josh slammed his locker closed and leaned his shoulder on it comfortably. Josh was the most strangely relaxed person Jamie had ever known, though quite on the contrary almost as highly defensive on certain points as Sam could be. In fact, had Sam not taken leading role of the defender against Britney, it would certainly have been Josh throwing insults and huffing angrily in her wake. However, this leisurely moment was the infinite opposite, and quite typical of him.
"So are you gonna talk to me or just keep brooding all day and fail that exam we're gonna have next period. Brooding plus an exam is definitely the equation for an F."
"Hmm, tough choice," Jamie replied, finally getting around to grabbing his literature book and closing his locker, "I really would love to fail that test, the teacher would be awfully thrilled with me."
Josh nodded with a small grin, "Now that's the way to handle it."
He stood straight and started down the hallway, Jamie walking beside him. Josh didn't question the matter again. They'd been friends since kindergarten, and close at that, long enough for Josh to know when to stop nagging about a subject like this. Jamie and Josh never once fought or had too many disagreements. The only one in their group that truly caused that kind of trouble was Sam, and she was never able to get Jamie or Josh on her side at separate times, they were inseparable that way. Sam and David caught up with them then, as if on cue, Sam smiling with unusual pleasantness. She had never been an overly happy person, and was normally most pleased right after a successful debate. The very reason she'd joined the school's debate team in the first place, it was only natural for her. This occurrence of course had been a relief for Josh, Jamie and David, who now endured far less of Sam's intentionally chosen arguments. She and David were more often then not seen together, maybe because Josh and Jamie were always glued at the hip. David was a bit like Josh, oddly laid back, but not quite to the extreme extent, he mostly was just bored. Which was why it was so strange that he and Sam spent so much time together. He hated her angry rants more than anyone in their group, and was often the only one that would fire back at her, and perhaps that was the reason that Sam would like him best.
"Hey what are you guys doing after school?" Sam began in a chipper tone, "My parents are out of the house tonight..."
"What about your little sister?" Josh said casually.
"Oh she won't care..."
"Yea she likes it because that means she gets to watch scary movies way too adult for her." David said with a small grin.
"Oh very responsible of you." Josh replied.
"I've got a lot of work to do." Jamie said quickly, hoping to have added enough disappointment in his voice to make this believable.
By far the worst thing that could happen was that Sam would find out about the little arrangement he had with Marie after school. Though he and Sam had clearly broken up, she still retained some possessiveness, which could easily be credited to her general personality. She was a rather bossy and controlling girl, who spoke her mind without recognizing any consequences. Jamie had the feeling she would come to the immediate conclusion that the best thing she could do to express her feelings was to give Marie as much difficulty as possible, which was quite a lot by Sam's standards. Just the fact that Marie hung out with Britney would worsen things tenfold of course.
"Aw come on! Thats the worst excuse you've ever come up with."
He chewed on his lip for a moment, brain rapidly firing off the standard excuses he kept on catalogue for times like this, but none seemed satisfactory enough that Sam would leave him alone.
"Hey, don't you know portfolio reviews are coming up? Of course it's gonna cut into work time." Josh interjected casually.
Jamie made a mental note to thank Josh profusely later for his calm quick thinking.
"Oh yea," Sam said, a sour look spreading over her face, "Well fine. But YOU have no excuse!"
She gave Josh a hawk like glare, probably in hopes of frightening him into coming, which was typical of Sam. Josh was used to this however and laughed at her efforts.
"Whether you stare daggers at me or not, I'll come. Mostly because I wouldn't have anything better to do."
She scoffed and playfully smacked him on the arm. This was Josh's very clever contribution to averting Sam's attention. Jamie had to admit, his friend's laid back personality was extremely useful when lying.
"Why are we supposed to be free anyway? What are you planning?"
She grinned and opened her mouth to explain when the bell rang shrilly, and she and David immediately parted, hurrying off to their class on the other side of school. Josh and Jamie took their time walking to their classroom, as it was only a few paces down the hall. They stopped outside for a brief moment as a large pack of students started filing in. Jamie took that opportune moment to do it then before he forgot.
"Hey, thanks for covering for me..."
"Don't worry about it," Josh said quickly with a casual wave of his hand, "I know how she can get, but eventually portfolio reviews will be over you know."
Jamie frowned slightly, thinking back on what happened earlier. Maybe by then she would be gone anyway. He couldn't possibly expect it to last if anyone besides the three of them were to find out, despite the fact that he was already tired of keeping it such a serious secret. Sam would surely pretend she'd never met him if she knew, sad as it was. She would only be acting as infantile as they were.
"I don't think it's anything to worry about." he replied with a casual shrug.
Josh raised an eyebrow questioningly, but didn't say anything further when they walked into class, just moments before the bell rang. The moment the teacher started talking, Jamie had the feeling this exam was going to be a long one.
Marie walked eagerly down to the art room as soon as the bell rang. The longer the day had gone on the more she felt that she should explain herself, or fix things in some way. She'd been thinking on it all day, wondering if she should have just walked with him, what harm could it have done? He obviously didn't quite agree with her on being seen together. She wasn't sure why it mattered so very much for them to be separated during school. Then again, the more she fought the subject out with herself the more uneasy she felt. It was too strange, she should just stick to how things were. He should understand after some explanation, shouldn't he? She stood at the door for a moment, biting her lip. Maybe she just shouldn't go in, maybe she should just leave him alone. This thought was fleeting however, and she soon opened the door in spite of herself and promptly marched to the end of the room where he sat quietly, seemingly waiting for her. It seemed odd that he wasn't painting or drawing, as was how she usually found him.
"I know I shouldn't have..."
"I understand."
She stared at him dumbstruck.
"I don't think you..."
He shook his head slightly, looking down at his hands, "It's all right. I shouldn't expect you to want to be seen in public with me. It would never ordinarily happen."
She opened her mouth to deny it, but she couldn't. He was right, no matter how hurtful it sounded. However, despite it's truth, or perhaps because of it, a horrible feeling settled in her stomach, and she took the seat across from him, eyes averted.
"I don't want it to be that way."
"It sure seems like it." he said with a tone of mild surprise.
"I know, I know it does. It's just, I'm a lot different around them, I can't just....I can't be the same when I'm around you, it would be weird..."
"You don't have to explain." he said standing slowly, "I get it. Once you're in the art program I'll leave you alone..."
"No!" she exclaimed leaping up, "No Jamie you're not listening to me..."
"What are you trying to say then. Just say it."
"I want to be friends with you..."
He laughed sardonically, "That makes sense then, now I know exactly what you're saying."
"Just give me a minute to explain will you!" she cried vehemently.
He crossed his arms and stared at her expectantly, waiting for her to speak.
"Okay, look," she began slowly, wondering how to make this sound right, "I know it seems weird, it's weird to me too. I don't know what to do yet, but I do know I want to be friends with you, I just-I don't think we could do it...in public..."
His frown deepened to very near a scowl. Obviously she had made it even worse then it had been before. He shook his head at her with obvious disgust.
"Why would you even say that? Do you even hear yourself!"
She scoffed at him, face rouging with both embarrassment and anger.
"Just because you came around doesn't mean I have to drop everything! I have a life besides you!"
He shook his head, "I know you have a life besides me, but don't say you want to be friends if you don't!"
"I'm not lying! I do want to be friends! It's not as easy as you think..."
He started walking away from her then, a scowl on his face, but she hurried up behind him, not ready to end this on such a bad note. She had to make him understand, he had to know what it meant to her...
"Wait a minute..."
"What," he said turning, "so you can tell me how hard it is to stand up to them? Why do you care so much what they think? From the way you talk about them, it doesn't even sound like you like them all that much. You're friends with people you don't like, but apparently you want to be friends with me, on the condition that we not be seen together..."
She opened her mouth a few times to speak, but only succeeded in making herself look like a fish. She stepped back, averting her eyes. She didn't know why it mattered so much, maybe it shouldn't, but it did. They were the only people she'd known as friends, the only kind of people she had ever known as friends, she was too annoyed with them to like them, and too afraid to let them go. Both were silent for a few minutes, leaving the air between them tense with unspoken words. Her eyes were beginning to well with tears, but she fought them back. No one had ever said things like that to her, but they were things she told herself constantly, things she always ignored. She knew he was right, but she wasn't happy about it.
"What do you want me to do." she said quietly, voice grave, "What do you want from me?"
"Nothing," he replied apologetically, "I shouldn't have been so harsh...It's none of my business..."
She couldn't bring herself to look at him right then, why she didn't know, but she felt that if she caught his stare she might not be able to contain herself anymore. It was too easy to stand back and let everything happen, it was too easy to let them shape her, why couldn't he see that? She nodded slightly, urging herself to move, then stepped forward and began to head out of the room herself, hoping he wouldn't follow her. She still had a chance to escape, she could still let go of him, she could still go back to the way she was. She hadn't known him long, maybe he would be easily forgotten...But he grabbed her arm to stop her and she whirled around to face him. They were inches apart, the air between them seemed to be pulling at them to move closer. It was almost involuntary. She finally looked up, tears subsiding and gazed at him silently. They stood that way for what seemed like hours, inching ever so slowly closer. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, and when she opened them again, he had stepped back, rubbing the back of his neck tensely. Maybe he wouldn't be so easy to forget as she thought.
"Maybe we should pick this up again on monday." he stated, avoiding her gaze with a little too much effort.
She nodded in accord, but continued to stand there, feeling as if she needed to do just one thing before she took off. She felt utterly lost again, like she was scrambling. Scrambling to find a solution, to figure out what was going on. Scrambling to find out why he affected her like this. and why she wanted it.
"I'm not the only one who's afraid." she said quietly, meeting his gaze with unwavering intensity.
By all means this sentence should not have made sense to anyone but her, but she could see in his eyes that he knew exactly what she meant. She didn't give him the chance to reply to her, and walked quickly out to her car, relieved that he didn't stop her again. For the first time that week she felt like she'd accomplished something, but she wasn't sure why, or what it was. She started up her car strangely numb from the encounter and drove down the road, peering at the school as it disappeared beyond the horizon.
