<<Chapter 9 Chapter 11 >>

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When morning came, Marie was still fast asleep. Her alarm went off continuously, but she merely rolled over and turned her back to it. Not until her phone started vibrating violently did she squeeze open her eyes. With a groan, she groped for it on her night-stand, rubbing the sleep from them. The minute she'd gotten home she'd run up to her room and gotten in bed, telling her parents she was feeling ill. She'd slept the whole day and night.
"Jamie..." she muttered, recognizing his number on the caller i.d.
He'd called her so many times she'd lost count. It took quite a bit of scrolling on her caller i.d. list to get past his name and number. She held it in her hand for a few moments as it continued to vibrate, then put it back on her night-stand, watching it until it stopped. She exhaled heavily when it did. There was nothing she wanted more in the world than to be able to talk to him, but she knew the second she heard his voice would be the second everything that had happened would crash down on her. She just wanted to pretend for a while, that she had just kissed him, and her actions were as yet consequence free.
"Marie?" her mom said, knocking gently on the door.
"Come in." she replied hoarsely, ducking her head under her covers.
"Are you feeling better honey?"
"No... I feel worse." she mumbled.
"Alright, well, you stay in bed and rest today. Your dad and I will be back around six..."
"Okay. Bye."
The door creaked as her mom began to close it slowly, but she quickly seemed to think better of it and swung the door back open with a much harsher creak.
"Oh I forgot to tell you honey, Jamie stopped by last night. He waited for a while to see if you got up..."
She winced, and sighed quietly, wondering vaguely, guiltily, if he'd walked all the way over here just to make sure she was okay.
"He asked me if I would tell you to call him. He's a sweet boy Marie, don't you forget to. He seemed worried about you!"
"Yea...okay, I will mom."
The door creaked angrily again as her mother shut it, with a click this time.
As soon as Marie heard it, she pulled the covers off her head slowly, watching the door for a few moments to see if it would swing open again. When she heard heavy heels clicking down the stairs, she flopped back on her bed and groaned again. How long would he do this? And how long could she avoid the situation…
"As long as I can sleep through it." she mumbled to herself, rolling back over and burying her face in her pillow.
She woke again several hours later, feeling groggy and misty from oversleep. Slowly she dragged herself out of bed, stomach grumbling, when her phone stopped her. It vibrated angrily several times on her night stand. She thought briefly about picking it up as she walked over to it, then realized it was only doing so to remind her she had a voice mail. With a heavy exhale she plopped down on her bed and dialed the number, eyebrows shooting up to her hairline when it stated she had seventeen voice messages. The moment it started playing the first she remembered just how many times he'd called her. She closed her eyes, the sound of his voice instantly relieving some pained portion of her heart.
"Marie, please call me back... holing yourself in your room isn't gonna help. Just talk to me, please?"
He paused for a long few moments, then sighed heavily and the message ended with a click. She thought on it for a quick moment, then dialed his number before she could convince herself not to. The first time it rang her heart thudded so heavily in her chest she thought it might burst. The second time is when it started to sink. She peered over at the clock on the fourth ring, realizing he wasn't even home yet.
"Ugh!" she exclaimed, hanging up quickly and tossing the phone on the floor.
She knew she wouldn't pick up if he called her back.
"What do I do now?" she thought aloud, looking around her room aimlessly. It was a rather grey dreary day, the light coming in through her windows muted. It didn't help her lethargy at all. She stared at the wall for a moment, finding small patterns in the wallpaper, eyes tricking her to believe they were flowers, or faces, or people smiling, people kissing... She shook her head and turned over. More sleep. That's what she should do.

 

Jamie stormed down the hall toward the lunch room, vision narrowed to a small point on the floor a few feet in front of him. His ears burned with all the eyes watching him and the whispers flying. He was used to this kind of whispering, but never on this magnitude. It was school wide, the ridiculous rumor that had spread about them. It had been school wide by lunchtime that previous day, as Marie had discovered on her own, and as Jamie had been too dense to notice until later. Jamie exhaled heavily as he rounded a corner free of eyes and made his way slowly to the room that started all the trouble. Though he wasn't sure if him being there with her when they started to point and call names would really have helped, he couldn't stop the feeling that if they had only revealed their little secret a day earlier they could have avoided all the trouble. It was a silly thing to hold on to. They would have whispered and stared no matter what. But still... he couldn't help but hear her voice echoing endlessly, painstakingly 'you weren't there' over and over like he could have done something about it...
Jamie hesitated before the doors, hand resting on the handle a few moments before he stepped inside. His cheeks burned as all the eyes settled, and silence took over the room. The most burning gaze however, he could sense all the way across the cafeteria. Tyler was sneering at him so intensely Jamie could swear he could feel a wave of heat coming from that direction. If Jamie were a rash person, he would act on the overwhelming urge he had to run over and punch the jerk square in the jaw, but he wasn't an idiot, and he certainly didn't fool himself into thinking he could win a fight against the meat head, nor did he fool himself into thinking a fight would do anything but worsen the situation. Under the tidal wave of whispering that had erupted from his presence, Jamie was immobile for a few seconds, frozen in place by the intensity of their stares, but he shook this off quickly, and veered off to join his table. Once he was able to escape the spotlight, his mind immediately turned to the fury that drove him toward the lunchroom in such a hurry in the first place.
"Sam."
She looked up innocently as he took a seat across from her, feeding every ounce of anger he felt into the glare he was directing at her. He gleamed great satisfaction when the almighty Sam withered beneath it.
"Tell me the truth." he said, voice low.
Both Josh and David were looking on with wide eyes and raised brows. Sam shrugged.
"What is that supposed to mean." he stated indignantly.
"It means I don't know what you're going on about-"
He shook his head and laughed bitterly, "How the hell can you even say that!"
She averted her eyes, sinking down in her chair a bit.
"Just tell me, if you were the one who told..."
"You think I'd even try to associate with them?!"
He blinked at her, "I don't know anymore."
She opened her mouth, looking like she was about to argue again, but stopped.
"It's for your own good you know." she said, more softly than could be expected of her, "She didn't even know what she wanted! Maybe she associates with you, but she's a two face just like the rest of them. I mean, look what happened! The second there's trouble she runs from you like a coward!"
"She just needs time, she just pretty much lost all her friends-"
"You've called her a dozen times haven't you, and she hasn't picked up right? If she really cared-"
"That's not for you to judge!" he exclaimed, much louder than he had planned.
He flushed slightly when he realized others had turned to stare again, but it only took a moment of thinking before he was lost in it, and it didn't matter anymore. Sam had prodded at the painful hole that had settled deep down in him since he had seen Marie yesterday. He'd been trying to suppress it, thinking obsessively that there had to be another explanation for her reaction. He wasn't sure what he should think, but he felt like he was stumbling around in a pitch black room waiting for her answer before he could make another move.
"You act like you were being all high and mighty," he said quietly, "'testing' her for me, but that's not the real reason and you know it."
"What does it matter the REAL reason! You know the truth now anyway!"
He scoffed at her, "You don't even know her!"
"I know enough about her to know she's not good enough for you."
"Like you're fit to decide-"
Sam slammed her fist on the table, and for the first time Jamie finally looked into her face and realized her eyes were swimming with tears.
"She doesn't deserve you!" she exclaimed, her cheeks flushed a deep scarlet, "When we were together, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't for one second, not for ONE second, make you forget what you were dealing with at home. Not ONCE could I make you stop that OBSESSIVE worrying... It's not fair Jamie! It's not fair, that SHE can make you forget all that bullshit! It's not fair that SHE can hold ALL of your attention... I saw it on your face the second you looked at her..."
He stared at her silently, eyes wide, mouth slightly agape, taken completely aback at her reaction.
"That person... that one person that can make you forget, has to be better than her," Sam continued, staring hard at the ground, "or she'll hurt you like no one else could..."
No one at the table reacted for a long time. Jamie just stared at Sam dumbfounded, the words she had said circling in his mind slowly, as if they were floating in a river of molasses.
"S-sam..." he sputtered, but the moment the word left his mouth she stood suddenly, as if jolted from her own reverie, and stormed off. All three boys stared after her a while, stunned into silence, then David got up and followed her, shrugging at them with a stupefied look on his face as he left. Jamie sat back in his chair, exhaling heavily and staring at the table with unfocused eyes.
"Sam doesn't know Marie." Josh said quietly, "Don't let what she said get to you..."
"I just... honestly didn't think Sam.... cared all that much..."
"I guess we kind of misunderstood her jealousy a bit..."
Jamie nodded silently. After a few moments without words, Josh continued.
"Marie is a great girl... you think I'd let you date her if she were crazy?"
Jamie snorted, "'Let me'?"
"Who do you think mom appointed to watch out for you?"
Jamie shook his head with a chuckle.
"Besides," Josh continued, stretching as he reclined in his chair, "I kinda like ya."
"Well, I'm glad these past ten years putting up with you wasn't a total waste then."

Sam and David never returned to the lunchroom, so Josh and Jamie were left to brave the 'shark infested' hallways alone. When there were four of them, especially with Sam around, the sneers and jeers would likely be silenced. Not many people braved crossing Sam, Brittany had been one of the very few. Josh got the worst of the teasing thusfar, they already had hurtful words to describe him, 'faggot' being the most popular naturally. Jamie thought this rather ridiculous considering what the rumor running rampant actually WAS. Most people just gave Jamie dirty looks, as they'd have to be a little more creative to come up with a nasty name for him. So far he'd just heard his old popular namesake from their freshman days as rivals of the populars, and occasionally a despicable reference to how many STDs he must have from sleeping with the school slut. It was those people he had to try his hardest to restrain from punching them in the face. The worst of this situation was however, that most of the teachers roaming the halls ignored this behavior as if nothing was going on.
"Maybe I'll just skip class and go with you to the art room." Josh mumbled gloomily, flipping off a nerdy freshman that took particular pleasure in being able to call someone else a name for once.
"I could use a model." Jamie said with a grin as they stopped at their lockers.
"Nude?" Josh said, flinging open his elaborately decorated locker, overzealously suave and waggling his eyebrows.
Jamie shook his head laughing, "No, but you'd just love that wouldn't you?"
"What can I say? It's my true nature."
"You should have been a nudist."
Once they retrieved the necessities from their lockers, they took a less traveled hallway, making a loop around the school to get to the magnet section, not exactly time efficient, but generally free of glaring students. They made it to the art room free of scathing words at least, though they'd gotten a few odd glances, right as the bell was ringing. This was Jamie's independent study period, so there was only one other student in the room. He didn't generally talk to Anna unless she spoke to him; she was a quiet girl who spent most of her period sitting on the other side of the room with her headphones on while she worked. Mr. Wells was flipping through papers anxiously when they walked in, and when he heard their footsteps he looked up instantly.
"Ah there you are! Josh? What are you doing in here..."
"I'm on lunch break," he fibbed, "thought I'd model today."
Mr. Wells accepted this distractedly, flipping through papers again, and grabbing one from the messy pile.
"Jamie, can I have a word?"
Jamie glanced at Josh quickly, who shrugged and went to take a seat beside Jamie's usual spot. Jamie walked up to Mr. Wells' excessively messy desk, and took a seat at the table right in front of it, smiling slightly when he saw all the paintbrushes rolling across the stacks of paper strewn about. Mr. Wells took a seat and exhaled heavily as he surveyed the mountainous pile of stuff before him.
"You do know reviews are friday?"
Jamie's heart skipped a beat, "Ah.... I-I forgot actually..."
Mr. Wells nodded, frowning with concern, "I thought you might have. You've got a few paintings in the storage room I'm assuming you're going to enter, but I only counted six... the minimum is ten-"
"I've got two at home," Jamie said, chewing his lip nervously, a little shocked at the sudden load, "I'm still short by two of them."
Mr. Wells furrowed his brows and watched Jamie thoughtfully, "You normally don't have a problem popping out ten paintings a semester, usually you have to cut out quite a few of them before you fill your portfolio..."
"I-I know. I've been busier this semester I guess." Jamie explained sheepishly.
"You have been absent quite a lot this semester...well," he conceded, leaning back in his chair, "You could enter two older works and claim they're from this year. It's not likely they would notice."
Jamie nodded, exhaling a bit in relief. He'd hoped the teacher would give him permission to do this, previously he had just told Jamie to try and get them all finished. Since then however, in the rather crazy mix of events taking place, he'd all but forgotten he needed to put a rush on things.
"Mr. Wells..." Jamie piped up again, remembering the most pressing of his concerns, "I still haven't received a fee waiver from the school."
Belle Tech, in order to reduce their applicants to the magnet program to only those who were serious about their application, and also perhaps in hopes of getting more money to pay for supplies, charged an initial entry fee of $100, and every year of reapplication an additional $50. Usually, since Jamie was the past year's scholar student, he would receive an application fee waiver from the board. By now he should have received a letter for it like he had the previous semester.
"You haven't?" Mr. Wells remarked, flustered, "Well... I'll run up to the office right now and ask Sherry about it. You get to work and see if you can't pop out another drawing or something for friday."
Jamie nodded as the anxious teacher leapt up from his seat in his usual antsy fashion and hurried out the door.
"YOU of all people don't have enough paintings for reviews?" Josh said, stretching as Jamie made his way over to the table.
"You're very nosey."
Josh grinned, "Of course. Speaking of nosey..."
Jamie rolled his eyes, "Here we go..."
"Has he come back yet?"
For a moment, Jamie thought for sure Josh meant his father, and was preparing to explain himself when Josh continued rather apologetically.
"I know he's your brother and all... I know you probably want to see him after all this time. I didn't mean to flip out on you."
He sighed with relief inaudibly, though not too keen to talk about this again, it was better than explaining to Josh why he was hiding his father's absence. Jamie was almost positive his best friend would be none too happy about that.
"It's alright. And no, I haven't seen him. Don't really know if I want to anyway."
Josh raised an eyebrow at him, "You seemed to be warming up to the idea the other day..."
Jamie shrugged, whipping out his sketchbook and pencils to occupy himself while he thought of a proper diversion for this conversation.
"How is Aiden?"
Josh gave him that look again, the one his mother was prone to giving that Josh had somehow nearly mastered already. Though, Jamie knew how often his best friend received a look such as that from his mother. Then again he couldn't deny he often got the same look from her.
"Mkay, change of subject I see. I'll play along this time I guess."
Jamie grinned at him.
"Aiden is almost ready to come home. He's all packed! Should be out of there by saturday."
"That's great news!" Jamie replied, as he started doodling Josh with that giant goofy grin on his face. It was a good look for him.
"Even better news.... he's sharing a room with ME."
"I don't believe you."
"Alright I lied, but I'm wearing mom down, she'll give in, you just wait."
Jamie shook his head chuckling, "She's more stubborn than you are."
"Not this time!" he exclaimed triumphantly, "Speaking of mom, she was asking about you. You haven't been over for dinner in FOREVER she says."
He snorted in reply, smiling slightly at his sketch, "I was there for thanksgiving..."
"Over two weeks ago. You know how she is. So when are you gonna come over?"
For a few moments he didn't reply, pretending to be drawing something that required great concentration. He worked every night until nine now, with the McCormick's watching Jenna until he returned, and if he gave Josh too many lame excuses he'd be found out pretty quickly.
"I-" he started, when Mr. Wells came bursting back into the room in his usual hurried manner.
The man always seemed to be abuzz with things to do, and if he didn't have something to do, he was fidgeting incessantly. He waved a finger at Jamie as he walked over to his office and stepped inside, seeming to be looking for something. Jamie put his sketchbook down and left Josh at the table once again.
"There's been a bit of a policy change,” the teacher said as he shifted through his desk drawers.
Jamie stood patiently while Mr. Wells dug through his things fervently once again.
"Ah!" he said, yanking a folder labeled 'student aid'. He whipped out a paper, looked it over quickly and held it out to Jamie as he shoved the folder back into his crammed desk drawer.
Jamie took the paper from him and read. It was an application for financial waiver. He looked up at Mr. Wells questioningly.
"Students have to apply for the fee waiver now. It goes to people who can't afford the expense, but I think you'll still have an advantage in receiving it since you're the scholarship student. Just have your dad fill out the financial info, it shouldn't be too big a problem. But it's a little late now, Sherry said she could take it tomorrow, but that's the last day so put a kick in your step alright?"
Jamie nodded absently, reading the paper with an increasing frown. He knew none of these things to fill out, and even if he did he was sure he wouldn't get it. His father had a very decent job if he could so readily afford the house they were in now, the real matter was whether or not he felt like being there to pay for it. He walked out of Mr. Well's office without another word and read the paper as he made his way back to the table, almost bumping into a chair as he went. He read over the guidelines again and again as he took a seat, brows furrowed deeply. What was he supposed to do then? He could pay that money, but could he really spare it with how small a paycheck he was getting? After the water bill, he had just enough to cover it, and the cabinets were emptying a lot quicker than he'd anticipated. It wouldn't be too long before a hefty visit to the grocery store was in order.
"What's up?"
Jamie continued reading for a moment before the words his friend said absorbed.
"Oh," he said, folding up the paper and shoving it in his pocket, "it's nothing."
"What's the paper for then?"
Jamie exhaled heavily, knowing Josh would just continue to question until he gave in, "Fee waiver form for the magnet program."
Josh furrowed his brows in confusion, "I thought you got one automatically for being their star student?"
Jamie shrugged, picking up his sketchbook again to distract himself, "Guess not anymore."

 

When Marie woke up from her third bout of sleep it was three pm, her eyes were burning and head pounding from oversleep, so she sat up in bed, contemplating very hard about getting up. If she did manage to drag herself out of bed what was she supposed to do? She twisted around and looked at herself in her wall mirror. Not as atrocious as she anticipated, and her room felt horribly stuffy, like the air hadn’t moved in days. This thought was enough for her to put forth the effort to get out of bed finally. Once she was up, she stood there for a moment before she recovered enough to decide what to do. There weren’t many places she could go in town where she wouldn’t run into classmates, and she didn’t much feel like explaining to her grandmother why she was in a testy mood. So, there was only one real place she could go to escape. She got dressed quickly, made a phone call, and was out the door, leaving a note for her mom. Fifteen minutes later she pulled up to Teddy's house, feeling oddly drawn to his presence. He was an easy enough person to talk to, and was completely and utterly segregated from everything that was weighing too heavily on her mind. Not to mention, since that night of ‘confession’ she felt rather eager to test the waters and see how a real friendship between them could work. He walked out to greet her as she got out of her car, tramping noisily over the iced over grass, and she wondered for a brief moment if she looked okay. She hadn't even put on makeup, which was a completely foreign practice to her. Just as she suspected though, this didn't faze him for a moment.
"So what's up?" he asked with a small grin, shoving his hands in his pockets as he approached her car.
Marie inhaled deeply, something about the freezing air was really refreshing.
"Do you wanna take a walk?"
He laughed for a moment before he saw she was serious.
"In this weather? It's freezing!"
"I know!" she said grinning, "but it feels good today."
He raised his eyebrows, "Well, if you really want to... let me go get a warmer jacket."
She smiled gratefully.
They walked in silence for a good few minutes, enjoying the suburban mid-winter landscape, neither seeming very sure how to talk. Marie conceded they hadn't had time to get comfortable with the friendship yet. Though they hadn't really gotten to know each other all that well even in their relationship. Marie knew she'd closed herself off to him pretty quickly, despite how he may have tried, and despite how she felt with him. Still, he knew her better already than most of her 'friends' had, which was pretty sad considering.
"I feel like there has to be a reason for us to hang out now." Teddy said, chuckling nervously.
"I'll admit," she said laughing too, "this is a little awkward."
"It's like the first date all over again."
"Only this time I don't think it'll end with a kiss."
They both smiled, a little more at ease.
"Can I ask you something in all honesty?" he asked, rubbing his hands together for warmth.
She nodded, kicking at some icy patches on the sidewalk as they walked.
"Why do you want to be friends with me anyway?"
She glanced up at him, unsure why she wasn't taken aback; it was a pretty bold question.
"You're genuine," she replied sincerely, "and I'm not afraid of what you'll think of me."
He flushed, smiling sweetly and looking down at his feet.
"Why are you so concerned what everyone else thinks anyway? You got a judgemental family or something?"
"No," she said with a shrug, kicking a small piece of ice over to him enticingly, "my family is great, I love them! I guess... I don't have a good excuse."
Britney quickly popped into her mind then, as Teddy kicked the chunk of ice back at her playfully, remembering the tale Britney told about her older brother. She was disturbed how easy it was to forget things like that happened in the world, it was too easy for her to put this out of her mind.
"Well, I guess now is as good a time as any to realize it's silly to run around putting on a show for people."
She snorted, frowning at her own cowardly reaction yesterday, stopping the ice chunk as it whirled over to her. Britney braved coming to school despite being all but dropped off the face of the social earth. Marie was afraid to even think about what happened when they'd found out, like she was afraid it had actually happened, as if there was a chance it hadn't. She kicked the ice as hard as she could, frowning when it skittered across to the other side of the road.
"It's easier said then done I guess,” she replied evasively.
"I thought you were gonna tell the truth?"
She shrugged, "I didn't have to. Someone told for me."
Teddy watched her silently for a few moments, "So what happened?"
She jumped slightly when there was a buzzing in her purse, she didn't even bother looking at the phone, knowing quite well that it was Jamie. And yet she continued to ignore it. Teddy raised his eyebrows at her reaction, but she ignored this as well.
"Someone told my 'friends' I was involved with Jamie... we were planning on just.. walking into the lunchroom holding hands, like it would stop people from talking if we were the ones who let the cat out of the bag. It was stupid. But... I keep thinking if he was there when they confronted me it would have been easier."
Why was she sitting here telling Teddy things, and yet she didn't want to even hear Jamie's voice for fear it would remind her what happened?
"Why can I talk to you about this and not him?” she mumbled aloud, shaking her head with an ironic laugh, and watching her feet with furrowed brows.
"Was that him on the phone?"
Marie nodded erratically, crossing her arms over her chest.
"You didn't even look-"
"I just know. He's been calling me all day... and all night last night too."
Teddy raised his eyebrows, whistling, "Man, if I were him I'd be pretty confused."
"I know," she replied exasperated, "I know I'm being stupid-"
"Not stupid," he corrected quickly, "you can't help how you feel."
She shrugged, "I suppose."
"But you should probably at least tell him how you feel. Us boys, we're pretty dense when it comes to that stuff."
"So I noticed." she quipped with a coy grin.
"Well now you're being sexist!"
"You said it not me."
"We can't help our handicap," he explained with a smile, "girl language is too complicated for our feeble minds to comprehend."
"Apparently."
"So are you gonna help me out and explain this situation? Or are you gonna leave me hanging?"
She giggled, "Alright alright. Stick with me if you can."
He nodded, furrowing his brows in feigned concentration. With another fit of giggles at the silly face he was making, she began a brief overview of exactly what had transpired, smile quickly fading, skipping over the words her friends had used and exact details, still a little too sore from it to think on it herself too much.
"Wow, you just walked right out of school?" he said incredulously.
"I was blindsided!" she defended, "I felt like I was in a dream, a horrible horrible nightmare, and... for some reason I just kept clinging to the fact that it was a dream. And as soon as I saw Jamie, I knew he'd make it real..."
"That was pretty cold, leaving him there like that."
Marie didn't bother denying it, she knew what she'd done, "I promised him I wouldn't run away this time, and here I am running away in epic proportions."
Teddy exhaled, whistling, "Well, it sounds like quite a mess."
"You could say that again."
"But you know, the good thing about us guys is, we forgive a lot easier than you girls."
She smiled gently, knowing he was trying to make her feel better, but in reality it only served to make her feel worse. Jamie had already forgiven her dozens of times, and here she was, unconsciously angry at him for something he couldn't possibly have helped. That's just it, she was angry at him for not being there, when she should be angry at the people that had turned on her so readily.
They were silent again for a few more moments as they made their way up a small hill, a dead grassy field to their right, sloping down into a woodsy neighborhood.
"I'm sorry," Marie said quietly, shaking her head free of this reverie, "I didn't come over here to attack you with drama."
Teddy laughed, grinning at her, "You're a girl! Drama follows you wherever you go."
"How incredibly sexist of you." she teased, "Well why don't we talk about something else on the way back then huh?"
Thus the conversation continued with Teddy's joking edition of the high school band drama that apparently took place each and every day. By the time they got back Teddy was talking about the rift between first and second chair instruments and various pranks the different rankings played on each other, some as childish as pulling hair and whoopee cushions. When they were rounding the corner and nearing Teddy's house, Marie had got to laughing so much at the ridiculousness of it all, she thought for sure her sides would split with the effort.
"So see," Teddy said as she recovered from a fit of giggles at the first chair clarinet that had a balloon shoved her horn, "girl drama is NOTHING compared to band drama. Band geeks are secretly drama queens."
She chuckled, in physical pain, "I can see that."
They fell silent again as they approached her car, anticipating her exit.
"I'm glad you came by, even if it was a short visit,” he said with a smile as they walked up to her car.
"Me too, thanks for cheering me up."
"It's my job now," he replied, "it's what friends do right?"
She nodded, chewing her lip absently, "I'm sorry if it's weird... me talking to you about Jamie..."
Teddy chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck, "It is a little weird I guess. But we're friends now, gotta get used to hearing about boys don't I?"
"And I'm sure I'll be hearing about some special girl sooner or later," she replied, giving him a quick, friendly hug, "a lucky special girl."
"Now you're just being too nice," he said with a snicker, hiding his face as he blushed, waiting by the curb as she walked around and got in her car. He leaned down, waving to her as she got in the car and readied to leave. Before she turned on the ignition however, Teddy signaled her to roll down the window.
"What do you want now?" she teased.
"Call Jamie back," Teddy said with a solemn grin, "it's pretty obvious he cares about you."
She looked away, flushing slightly and nodding, avoiding his gaze, "I will."
"But first," she mumbled to herself as she pulled away, waving at Teddy as she went, "I have one more stop to make..."

 

Marie walked into the hospital hesitantly, a little disoriented by the brightness of the waiting room. A desk assistant eyed her suspiciously as she walked up, smiling sheepishly.
"I'm here to visit a friend..." The woman directed her down a very long, beeping hallway. She passed several hospital rooms, some with families, some that were empty, and some with lonely looking patients. An old man was watching out the door as she walked by, offering her a toothless smile. It stopped her for a moment, the wrinkles that wound themselves around his hollowed cheeks and pale eyes intrigued her. Suddenly, she felt like drawing. She offered him a genuine smile, then continued on her way, sketching out his portrait mentally. Maybe she would remember him. When she finally made it down the long hall to the waiting room the assistant had talked to her about, she searched around for a brief moment, examining the few people in the room, when her eyes grazed over a familiar face. Long nose, oval face, small brown eyes...
"Mrs. Fenton?" Marie said with a smile as she hurried over.
Josh's mom raised her eyes from the magazine she had been reading, a mildly interested look on her face. When she saw it was Marie however, a wide smile broke across her features.
"Marie! Oh it's good to see you honey! Call me Angelica really!" she exclaimed, leaping up and embracing her tightly. Marie was once again surprised by her height. Josh definitely got his tall frame from his mother, who was currently acting like she'd known Marie for years. Such a familial hug eased Marie’s worries.
"It's good to see you too!" she replied, pulling away with a slightly awkward smile, "I'm here to see Aiden."
Angelica’s smile turned melancholy, her small brown eyes watering slightly, "Oh it's so sweet of you. We've been his only visitors besides his friend Ange...I'm sure he'll be happy to see another face."
"I would have come earlier," she said, smile fading with her words, "I didn't know-"
"Oh it's okay honey, you’re here now and that’s what matters. Oh, you'll have to kick Josh out. He's been in there for hours though, it's about time he gave someone else a turn."
She nodded, smiling sadly, and took Angelica's directions to Aiden's room. There weren't many lively patients as she walked down these halls. Most were being watched carefully, with large glass windows encasing their rooms, and far more beeping electronics. The assistant had said he was roomed in the intensive care unit, and she had immediately felt a horrible sinking feeling in her stomach, wondering how bad it really was. A crop of short white hair caught her attention first, and when she rounded the doorway she saw them both. They were curled up on the bed together, watching the TV, Aiden's head laying comfortably on Josh's shoulder, and Josh's chin nestled in Aiden's messy black curls. If Aiden hadn't been covered in cuts and bruises and bandaged, she would have thought it a very heart warming moment, but instead of warming her, it made her heart ache. She waited for a few moments, watching them quietly, before knocking on the door frame, wondering vaguely how Josh would react to her presence after her last encounter with him. She made a mental note to apologize and thank him profusely for what he had done. Both looked over at the door simultaneously, and much to her relief, a smile lightened both of their faces.
"Marie!" Aiden said, voice hoarse and quiet, but a brilliant grin still lighting his face.
She smiled, walking in sheepishly, "How are you feeling?"
One of the nurses poked a head in behind her, "One visitor at a time kids!"
Josh got up carefully as the nurse hurried away, helping Aiden back to a normal sitting position, "I'll go get some coffee and let you guys talk..."
Aiden grinned contentedly at him as he left, then turned back to Marie, motioning for her to take a seat in the cushy chair by his bed. She did so, feeling slightly awkward.
"I'm glad you're okay... when Teddy told me you'd been in the hospital... I just-no one said anything!"
"I think the schools are probably trying to keep it quiet." he said, smile faltering slightly.
She was so surprised by this sudden flicker she almost gaped, it seemed like the only expression Aiden had was that smile.
Marie watched him for a few moments, recalling that night at the fall dance... witnessing a stroke of violence she would never have predicted. She didn't want to ask him, for fear that smile would disappear, but she had to know it wasn't what she thought it was.
"It..." she began, hesitantly, "it wasn't... Tyler was it? That-IDIOTIC boy from the dance-
"No," Aiden said gently, "I don't think he would really come after us. I think that was a show."
She nodded in agreement, breathing a silent sigh of relief. If it had been him, and nothing had been done about it... she wasn't sure she could handle the unfairness of it.
"Can I-" she shook her head slightly, did she even have a right to know this? It was obvious this was no light matter; it may have been too pressing for her to ask it of him. But when she looked up, he was smiling with a melancholy that meant he knew what she was going to say.
"The school got a lot of trouble from some of the parents...” he began to explain, “for not contacting Josh and I's parents about the ordeal, when they had contacted Tyler's. It was delayed but-they finally called ours. Josh's mom gave them an earful," he said with a sad smile, "for trying to keep the whole thing hush hush, not even reporting Tyler… but my parents didn't know that I was with Josh-"
Marie felt the color drain from her face, suddenly feeling very ill.
"I have a big family," Aiden continued quietly, "four brothers, two sisters... they're all very devout Catholics. My parents were strict about it; they were very loyal to the church. But it was my brothers who enforced it." He smiled solemnly. "They already knew really, they just had no concrete proof. So when the school told them the story, my parents asked me to leave. When my brothers found out though...well, they've never been very passive about anything."
She watched him carefully, waiting for a flicker of bitterness in his tone, anger, unfairness, any hint of negative emotions. He merely smiled sadly, tone staying even and light.
"I don't blame them." he said quietly, "It's how they were raised."
"You were raised that way too..."
He directed his pale green gaze away for a moment, as if he were reminiscing, "We all take things in through different eyes. I just took things a lot differently then they did. They thought there was only one way to live and be 'pure' before the eyes of God."
She furrowed her brows, waiting for him to explain further, but he merely smiled at her, a child-like smile that always seemed to lift the weight off her shoulders, and served well to make her forget the heaviness of the words they discussed.
"I don't know how you do it." she said softly, "After what happened to you... I don't care what you say. Bravery has got something to do with it."
Aiden took her hand, pulling her gaze away from her feet, "You're not a coward Marie."
She looked away again, embarrassed he knew just what she talked about, as a few tears spilled down her cheeks, his words diving down to the very core of her frustration. Here she was, crying over the situation she was in, when Aiden had been hospitalized for the ridicule he'd endured. She couldn't even handle being with Jamie over peer pressure, but Aiden had survived through something this terrible to be with Josh, with no hesitation...
"You're not a coward-"
"Yes I am!" she exclaimed, "Look at you! Going through all this and still with him...I'm a coward! I'm such a coward! What's wrong with me? I want to say I would do anything to be with him... I would… but when they said those things-"
"Just because you're not in a hospital bed, doesn't mean it's easy."
She shook her head slowly, hunching over to hide her face from him. She was so ashamed for her behavior, and remembering the look on Jamie's face that day... it sent a wave of pain shooting straight through her heart. She couldn't even face him. She couldn't face what he made her feel if it meant she'd have to deal with the situation in its entirety. It was horribly selfish. Why was she doing this?
"It still hurts," Aiden said quietly, "whether it's words or fists they're throwing at you, it still hurts."
"He was willing to deal with that-"
"He deals with it all the time."
She blinked a few times, raising her eyes again, hesitating a moment before meeting his gaze. The moment she looked into his boyish face she instantly felt at ease, like he was lending her a portion of his contentment.
"My brothers have never been gentle with me, they let me know how they felt about how I was as violently as they could. Josh never understood why I let my brothers attack me all the time," he said with a small smile, "but I've been dealing with it since I was a little kid. It was nothing new to me, I just thought this was how they handled things they didn’t understand. The idea of stopping it hadn't really crossed my mind, until I saw how much it hurt him. We get strange looks, and we get called names, but when it happens so much, whether we like it or not, we grow impervious to it. It's how we survive. How often have you been called names or been turned on by people like that?"
"Never..." she said, wiping her face, "I was so scared of it I did everything I could possibly do to avoid it... and lost myself in the process."
He paused for a moment, letting the words settle in the air.
"I want to tell you something."
She hesitated a moment, before straightening up, meeting his gaze and watching him carefully.
"You can handle it." he said slowly, surely. "You can live through it. Sometimes, when you're dealing with something you’ve never dealt with before, you think if it doesn't stop it will kill you, you just won't be able to do it anymore. But, I've been right where you are, and past, and I'm still here! Maybe not quite in one piece, but more whole than I've ever been."
She smiled, laughing curing her tears. With a sniffle, she nodded in acceptance.
"And look at you! You're here now aren't you?"
"More or less," she replied with a chuckle.
"I promise," he assured, "just keep going, and you'll never regret a thing."
She talked to Aiden for a long time, about happier things. She heard all about his love for swimming, how he’d taught Josh how to swim despite his horrible fear of water, how they’d first met, and various other shenanigans they had gotten into, and gotten through, together. It was exactly what she needed. Just seeing the look on Aiden’s face while he talked about Josh was enough for her to know. She was filled with the same feelings as he was, and if he had made it through with nothing but Josh to lean on, so could she. So, after that extended chat, she bade him goodbye with a gentle hug, a grateful thank you and well wishes, and made her way back out to the waiting room. Josh was the only one there, save an old man and woman sleeping in the corner. She smiled slightly as she walked over and took a seat beside him.
"Thanks for coming today." he said warmly,"I know... you've only really met a few times, but I think Aiden was really happy to see you."
"You don't have to thank me." she replied, "Aiden has helped me a lot the few times I've seen him somehow. I feel like I owe it to him."
Josh chuckled, "He does have a natural knack for it. You wouldn't believe how many random strangers come up to him asking for advice or just to tell him their life story."
"I can actually picture that," she replied with a giggle, "I guess there is something about him..."
Josh nodded, looking down at his feet thoughtfully.
"I'm… I'm sorry- about how I treated you." Marie began, stealing the first chance she'd had, "You stood up for me, when you barely know me, and- and well I'm really grateful. I just- I was overwhelmed I guess."
He nodded with a weary smile, "I know. It's okay."
She turned away from him quietly; something in his eyes reminding her of the look Jamie had given her. Another shot of pain scorched her heart, how could she have left when he was looking at her like that? The more she thought on it the more she thought it should have rendered her physically unable to move.
"I know it's not really any of my business, but.... Jamie is my best friend, like a brother to me." Josh began, ringing his hands, "I've known him since before I can remember, we grew up together."
Marie braced herself for some sort of chastising, guessing if anyone would it would be his best friend. She knew she wasn't doing the right thing, she didn't mean to be doing this to him…
"He's… well he's got a lot going on in his life. Things that have always kept him from caring about much of anything else, including himself on occasion."
Josh turned to her, smiling slightly, "I think… the fact that he's not entirely engrossed in all the bull… and that he's so torn up because of you and not... well, it makes you really special."
She stared at him for a few moments, utterly surprised by the warm look on his face.
"You're more important to him than you, or he, probably knows."
She stared at him with glazed eyes for a few moments, before a grateful smile spread across her face. Hearing words like that right after Aiden's encouragement made her want to run to the phone and call him immediately. It made all those insults and rumors being thrown around seem utterly insignificant.
"Thank you," she said quietly, laughing, "ever since I met him I feel like my whole life has been slowly turned upside down, no one's ever made me feel like this, and... well I wasn't really sure if he felt the same."
Josh smiled sadly, "I think you're the one that's gonna wake him up."
She watched him for a few moments, curious what he meant. Then a thread of thought weaved through her mind, she felt odd wanting to say such a thing to Josh, whom she'd spoken to so few times she could count on one hand, but she saw the opportunity for some insight into Jamie's character that she felt she may never get directly from the source.
"Sometimes... I feel like I barely know him. He knows a lot about me... I've got a big mouth I guess, but the most I know about him is what I see in his artwork. Everything else is just... barred off. And if I try to ask he gets all upset with me."
Josh smiled slightly, leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees, "You wouldn't be the first to say that."
She watched him expectantly, hoping to receive a little more explanation than that. He laughed a little at her hopeful look.
"Like I said, he's got a lot going on in his life. He's pretty ridiculous when it comes to people worrying about him, he's just protecting you."
This statement did not satisfy her at all, in fact, it made her mind run rampant. Worrying? Protecting me? She thought, frowning at the ground pensively. Her thoughts broke quickly when Josh chuckled upon noticing the look on her face.
"Sorry, that didn't help did it?"
"Not really no." she replied with a sheepish grin.
"Eh..." Josh began hesitantly, scratching his head thoughtfully, "hmmm...well look, it's not really my place to tell you about this, but he's not in any life threatening danger alright? So don't fret about it. He'll tell you what's going on when he's ready."
She raised an eyebrow at him in disbelief.
“Really,” he assured confidently, “he will.”

 

When Jamie heard the knock on the door that night, his heart almost stopped. He'd heard a car pull up as he was tiptoeing back from tucking Jenna in, and he'd seen the headlights, but he'd chosen to ignore it as long as he could, hoping it wouldn't be who he thought it was. After the second round of fervent knocking he stood regrettably and trudged toward the door. Another round of knocking sounded as he stood with his hand resting on the handle, thinking of what he would say. After Josh's reaction the other day, he'd vaguely wondered if perhaps he should have been more angry than he was, but this thought was quickly replaced by ravenous curiosity. Mike didn't sound like he wanted to apologize, he sounded like whatever it was he had to tell Jamie was urgent...
"...Oh...U-uncle Ryan." Jamie said after swinging open the door and wincing in the cold.
This was probably worse...
"You guys got a lot of snow up here the other day I heard." he said, smiling warmly as he stepped inside.
Jamie nodded quietly, taking his uncle's coat and scarf and hanging them on the coat rack. Was he actually disappointed it hadn’t been Mike?
"You've been taking better care of yourself." Ryan noted with a relieved grin, "Where's your dad?"
"He went out." Jamie answered quickly, "do you want to sit down?"
Ryan eyed him suspiciously, "I think I'll get a drink first... you want something?"
Jamie shook his head, taking a seat on the couch as his uncle went to the kitchen, most likely to search the cabinets and such rather than for a cold one. Sure enough, Jamie heard the cabinets open and close several times, then the fridge jingle with glasses as he opened the door. He would find little evidence of Jamie's fib; they were fairly stocked considering. Still, the moment his uncle stepped into the living room with a cold beer and no complaints, Jamie audibly sighed with relief.
"Mike called me today."
Jamie blinked in shock, completely blind-sided, "D-did he?"
Ryan took a seat in the chair to his right, getting situated and popping open the bottle cap before replying, with a very solemn expression, "He said you were a little more than hesitant to talk with him."
Jamie frowned deeply and replied under his breath, "I'd say that's an understatement."
Ryan eyed him silently for a few moments before taking a sip of his beer. Apparently the affinity for alcohol ran on his father's side of the family. They did have a good amount of Irish and Italian blood in them...
"You haven't spoken to Mike for years-"
"He hasn't made an effort to try till now. I don't even know his number or where he lives, except it's a few states away..."
"He's making the effort now."
Jamie scoffed, laughing bitterly, "He comes to the house every night to sit in the car and stare at it, doesn't even get out till I go up and bang on the door demanding to know who's stalking us. What an effort."
Ryan sighed, examining the bottle in his hands distractedly, "You know he was devastated when he left Jamie. You two were so close."
Jamie clenched his jaw, crossing his arms as if to protect himself from this truth. They had been, past being the operative tense.
"You don't feel even an inkling of remorse for that?"
Jamie stared hard at the ground, grinding his teeth. His uncle only knew a small portion of the difficulty Mike's leaving had caused them, a very small portion. Though Jamie didn't much like to think on it, Josh was right. Twelve and taking care of a small child with no income was beyond difficult. Beyond throwing out forgiveness like it was nothing.
"I think about it every day." Jamie replied tensely.
His uncle opened his mouth to speak again, but Jamie stood quickly, too restless to continue this conversation. He didn't want to be badgered about this, in fact he would much rather just not think on it at all. Perhaps if he ignored Mike long enough he would just go away, and he could pretend like nothing had changed. And to think, a moment ago he almost wished his brother had been at the door.
"I can't begin to understand why he left... but maybe you should hear him out. He said he wanted to talk to you about your mother..."
Jamie stopped dead in his tracks, shocked into stillness. It would be a lie to say the subject was the last thing he expected to talk to his brother about, but he certainly didn't think the topic would come up so immediately.
"He said what he had to say was only for your ears. It sounded like it was really important Jamie."
He turned around to face his uncle, eyes narrowed in confusion, "What could he possibly have to tell me..."
Ryan shrugged, taking another sip of his drink and standing. "I don't know, but it might be worth it to put aside your differences to find out."
Jamie crossed his arms, curiosity gnawing at him. After a few moments of consideration, he nodded hesitantly. Though the thought of having any sort of deep conversation about what had happened with Mike made him slightly ill, he knew for certain now, whatever it was his brother wanted to say to him was too important to avoid. Ryan smiled slightly, satisfied.
"Now," he said, heading toward the kitchen to dispose of his bottle, "I want to know the truth."
Jamie almost audibly sighed with exasperation, frustration increasing exponentially the longer the conversation ensued, but resisted the urge. Ryan tossed the bottle in the trash, a piercing jingle of glass trumpeting through the air as it hit the bottom and shattered, then headed back out to stand in front of Jamie, a stern look on his face.
"Where did your dad go?"
Jamie shrugged, "He never tells me where he goes."
Ryan furrowed his brows, "Is he coming back soon?"
"As far as I know yes."
"How do you know?"
Jamie hesitated a moment, "He... didn't have a suitcase with him when he left. That usually means he'll be back..."
Ryan watched him with narrowed eyes for a few moments intensely, as if staring at him long enough would reveal the truth. Whatever he saw seemed to satisfy him however.
"Well, how about I come back in two weeks to make sure?"
Jamie nodded hesitantly; knowing in two weeks if his father still wasn't back things would likely be in pretty bad shape. Definitely a terrible time for his uncle to return, but any more resisting and he may have Uncle Ryan staying all night waiting to make sure his father did in fact return.
"By the way," Ryan said, walking over to the coat rack to get his things, reaching in his pocket to pull out a rather trampled envelope, "this was on the driveway. Looks like it got dropped on the way back to the house."
"Thanks." Jamie replied, taking it from him and eyeing it for a brief moment before seeing his uncle out the door. Right as it clicked closed the phone began to ring. Jamie, sure it had to be something else just jumping at the chance to frustrate him, started for it as he tore at the trampled and dirty envelope, wiping his hands on his jeans as he pulled out the contents. He stopped in his tracks.
“Shit!” he cursed, pulling out the letter and unfolding it quickly, mind far from the still ringing phone.
Of all the things to be sitting in the driveway trampled upon for who knows how long, Jenna’s school bill was staring him blankly in the face. Quickly skimming, he audibly sighed with relief when he saw the due date had not yet passed, but the amount of the bill did not lessen his concerns. For the moment, he had the money to pay it, but if he paid that, then he wouldn’t have the money for the reviews on Friday. His senses reawakened then, when he realized the phone was on it’s last leg of rings. He dove for it quickly, but only got a dial tone. Shaking his head, he hung up the receiver and walked to the dining room, taking a seat at the table closest to the piano, his usual thinking position.
“What now?” he asked quietly, drumming his fingertips on the tabletop.
Jamie leaned back and crossed his arms, exhaling heavily, "I guess it's time to go over everything again..."

 

The gentle chime of the old grandfather clock in the living room could be heard all the way up in Marie's room as she watched the phone by her bed with an unwavering gaze. One...two...three...ten chimes, ten o'clock and he still hadn't returned her calls. With a heavy and exasperated exhale, she rolled over on her bed, blinking a few times before continuing to stare. Waiting for a phonecall like this was pure torture. Marie continued to wait for some time however, staring at the wallpaper, entertaining herself by finding shapes and connecting patterns, closing her eyes and watching the patterns repeat themselves in negatives, dancing across her eyelids. Her gaze then refocussed and wandered over to the clock on her bedside table, 10:01, how on earth had only a minute passed?
"UGH!" she exclaimed, sitting up quickly, too frustrated to sit still.
This is stupid, she thought getting up to pace restlessly, I'm stupid-was being stupid and I tried to fix it and now... Marie glared at the phone.
"RING already!"
She waited for a moment to see if her willpower had worked, then laughed at herself for sinking into craziness over a stupid phonecall.
"That's it, I'll just go over there."
At ten oclock at night? she thought suddenly, stopping in her tracks.
"I've screwed up, I have to try harder this time," Marie said to herself assuredly, starting towards her door again, "even if it means going over there at ten o'clock at night to make sure he doesn't think for another second that I don't lov-"
Marie blinked silently for a few moments halting again, reiterating in her mind what she had just said, or almost said, then shook her head, "Don't be silly..."

Sneaking out of the house of the chief of police was not easy, unless of course that chief of police and wife had fallen asleep on the couch watching I Love Lucy. For some reason, when Marie's parents did just that, it took quite a lot to wake them up. In fact, she was sure an earthquake could shake the television right off it's stand and they'd be none the wiser. Once she had pulled up to Jamie's house her confidence boosted a little, seeing the living room light still on and no car in the driveway. At least she didn't have to worry about waking Jamie's father. Marie was still in her pjs as she hurried up to the door, supplemented in light of the cold weather of course, with a heavy jacket, but nothing more. Thus she knocked several times in quick succession, in hopes that the swiftness of her knocks would let him know she wanted in asap. When no answer came, and no footsteps to preceed one, she knocked again.
"Hello?" she called sheepishly, "Is anyone home?"
Still no answer. She leaned over to peer in the bay window, but she could only see a light splashed across the wall, with what appeared to be the silhouette of a person cutting a shape into it. Biting her lip in thought, she placed a hand absently on the handle and jiggled it. Marie nearly jumped when the door clicked open a crack. Did no one lock their doors in this town?
"Hello?"
No one was in the living room as she stepped inside timidly, "I'm not breaking in I swear..."
She stayed right in the doorway a moment, as if anyone came out suddenly they could not claim she'd entered without permission. A swift look around and her gaze settled on the person she was looking for. Jamie looked to be fast asleep at the kitchen table, head resting on his arm. Marie stepped in quietly, closing the door behind her to keep out the chill, then walked gently over to him to inspect. For the first time Marie had yet seen, he was not wearing that all too familiar eyeliner. She planned to wake him at first, but now seeing what was under all that makeup, she decided to let him be. He looked like he hadn't slept enough in a long time, a very long time. Furrowing her brows slightly, she leaned over, noticing his arm resting on a small pile of papers. They looked like the kind of bills her parents had. Marie had to chew on her lip to bite back the questions. There was still so much she didn't know about him, and for some reason this moment reminded her of that more than ever. Marie decided then that Jamie shouldn't know she'd found him like this, and began searching through her purse for a piece of paper. Desperate to know this matter would be resolved somehow before tomorrow, she emptied the contents of her purse but found nothing. With an exasperated, but quiet sigh, she quickly scanned the room, hoping to find some random piece of paper she could write on that looked unintended for anything else. Her eyes immediately landed on the piano, where sat a pearly white sheet of paper, much to her surprise. Swiftly and quietly, she inched her way over to it, inspected it to make sure it was blank, then folded it up and headed back for the door, not even bothering to wonder why the paper was there. Marie stopped however, overtaken by a sudden urge as she passed by Jamie to go through the archway, and leaned down and kissed his hair with a small smile. He stirred briefly, but very quickly just mumbled and turned his head the other way.
Marie closed the front door gently on her way out, locking it first, then scribbled out a note for Jamie, and stuck it in the crack by the door handle. She wedged it in as well as she could, hoping the weather would permit it to stay put till morning, then inspected her handywork and turned to leave. For some reason she felt like she had seen more than Jamie would have liked her to, even though what she saw did not tell her much. Her curiosity though, however unsated, was now much less important to her than gaining his full and complete trust. After all, she had not done much these past few weeks to justify it, and now she had a new and grander reason to want it.

 

Mike slammed the car door, shoving his ungloved hands in his pockets to ward off the chill, as his eyes traveled to the only window still lit in the Motel 6, eyes briefly sliding to the car he recognized sitting in the parking lot right in front of it. He had no doubt in his mind who was there in that room. It wasn't far from the house, but just far enough to pretend the place didn't exist, and far enough to pretend nothing had ever gone wrong in his father's life. This place was part of an old and all too familiar ritual.
Mike hesitated before he began walking. He had purposefully avoided his father these past few weeks driving by the house, but he could no longer do so after realizing how many days in a row he had not seen the man's car there. Clearing his throat as he stepped up to the door, as if this would somehow prepare the other man for this confrontation, his hand hovered a few inches from the door before knocking on it briskly. There was a sudden and strange stillness in the room, the garbled sound of the t.v. muted, the clinking of bottles halting, as if a wild animal had been startled and was awaiting another hint of sound before making it's move. Mike knocked again, louder this time, stomach twisting in knots. The relationship between Mike and his father when he had fled was complicated, and after the loss of his mother, it had tumbled downhill fast. At least with Jamie he knew what he could likely expect in response to is presence, but now was no time to be timid, something had to be done. He heard a heavy sigh from the other side of the door, then the jingle and clink of two locks being undone and the handle turning.
"What are you doing back here?" the man asked bluntly, voice devoid of tone.
Mike blinked, taken aback by the changes that had taken place over the years. The last time he'd seen the man he had a full head of hair and was still healthy and young looking, there were barely hints of crows feet at the corners of his eyes, that at the time, still held a spark of life, despite the tumultuous personality that had taken over in the wake of his wife's death. Now, there seemed to be a dead stillness that had taken over him, no hint of life shone through, and the foggyness of this existence was drawing the color from his hair and face, winding wrinkles and weary lines around his mouth and eyes. Looking at him was like looking at a stranger, a stranger laying dead on the side of the street.
"We had a deal." Mike said quietly, gaze steady.
He'd grown since they had last seen eachother. Before, the nasty fights the two had wound up in never ended in Mike's favor, now he was the same size as his father, if not just a hair taller.
"As I recall, there wasn't much bargaining going on. You either left or you didn't."
The man walked away slowly, leaving the door open in invitation. Miked exhaled heavily, taking a step inside and closing the door. He stayed close, in anticipation of a brisk and heated exit. Martin Fioni however, took a liesurely seat at the table beside the small bed, staring silently at the empty bottles strewn across it.
"You said things would be better." Mike accused, voice low, "If I knew that statement was full of shit I never would have left."
"Well, I was wrong."
"You said if I left you'd get over it," he replied, voice rising, "you said I was the reason you couldn't forget... Are you telling me I left behind my family for nothing? Because you can't get over your goddamned guilt?!"
"I should have known... paid better attention..." he said, completely ignoring Mike's previous statement.
Mike stared at him, completely dumbfounded. His father used to be so easy to stir up, so easy to ignite, now it was as if Mike's words were crashing right into a brick wall.
"You are even more consumed than you were when I left....it's been four years dad...and still all you can think about is what you did."
Martin didn't reply, he merely stared at the wall, deeply preoccupied.
"How often are you even at home now?! Do you even know how long you've been here?!" Mike exclaimed, sure if he continued to yell the words would penetrate.
"Your brother likes to remind me often."
"My brother... your SON, has a name asshole."
"What was it he said last time...two weeks...two months...something like that." he replied matter of factly, as if this information did not make a bit of difference.
"T... two MONTHS? Months....Jesus christ! And you act like this is no big fucking deal!?"
"He's like your mother," the man replied, a dark look spreading across his features, "the older he gets the more it shows..."
"You can't do this anymore-"
"He's not like you. Oh he tries as hard as he can to piss me off, uses biting words just like your mother did, but once he does he backs down, doesn't put up a fight like you did. He's smaller like she was too..."
Mike's temper suddenly flared at this implication, and he left the safety of the door to rush over to his father, grabbing him by the collar to get all the attention he could, "I swear on mom's grave," he said through gritted teeth, "if you EVER touched a hair on his head-"
"I only fight back what fights me first," he replied monotonously, "as you well know."
"I don't give a fuck," Mike replied ferociously, "I don't care if he stabs you in the back with a goddamn kitchen knife-"
"I'd be curious what your brother would think of this sudden flare of protectiveness." he said flatly.
"Sudden flare? I fought with you TO protect them!"
"Then left them to their own devices."
"YOU told me to leave or I'd make things worse for them!"
"Blame me if you'd like, but you know you wanted out of there just as badly as I wanted you out. You just needed an excuse, so I gave you one that was half true."
Mike loosened his grip, paniking in denial. No... no he left because he was sure their vicious fighting was making it worse...but how could he be sure? Obviously he couldn't, the man was even more mentally unstable than ever, and in turn Mike left a twelve year old brother to take care of a baby while the man drank and daydreamed away his troubles. What had been so convincing to him then that seemed so utterly shaky now? He couldn't even remember anymore...
"It wasn't an hour after you left that I did. He asked me every ten minutes if you were coming back, it was driving me nuts."
"You son of a bitch..." Mike muttered, ducking his head and shielding his eyes with one hand as a painful lump rose in the back of his throat, he'd done worse to them than their father had. And proceeded to convince himself of the opposite so stubbornly he couldn't see straight.
Without a second thought, Mike reeled back and punched the man square on the cheek, throwing his glasses into the wall with a crack. He stood there for a moment, taking in the aftermath, knuckles throbbing, wondering if this was more penetrating than words had been, then turned to leave, taking note of the other man's utter stillness. Mike was across the room with the door opening when his father finally responded.
"Just like old times." he said quietly, grabbing the bottle of vodka beside him and pouring himself a shot blindly, as if nothing had happened, "So what now? You think you can fix it? Just like that..."
Mike exhaled heavily as he pulled the door open all the way, walking out and slamming it behind him as he responded, "I have to try."